Monday, June 06, 2011
student-ship

It dawned on me last night that life is moving at a frantically frightening pace. I caught that lightning fast glimpse of the past, a split second snapshot as i watched the flurry of congratulatory comments on facebook. Perhaps my most consequential handicap is that i miss the past too much. Always caught in the whirlwind of what used to be and constantly futilely trying to look life through the other side of the looking glass.

Can't believe that they're doctors now. Notts and dundee. More soon to follow. Has it really been 5 years? What actual bits do i remember? Not very much, the memory of it all seems to evaporate, leaving me with hazy, foggy shapes. Sometimes i feel a momentary flash of blind panic as everyone seems to be moving on so quickly with their lives and i am left behind. MBChB/MBBS, engagements, weddings, jobs. Well me? Last night i was entertaining myself with boring ol' gouty tophi and lets not go into unchartered waters of relationship. Laughable. Rufah already thinks i have no hope whatsoever. And he's probably right.

I think, most of all, i miss the security and warmth borne of the knowledge of being in a group. A group that started out together clueless but found their feet in unison and grappled their way to the top. Yet, as life has dealt its cards, seperation is inevitable. My friends have made it to the top and the journey there alone is tough. And as we become more integrated into this aggressive adult world of incentives, competition and success, who is to say we won't stray further?