my utopia

Jolt

2011-12-18T08:19:00.002+08:00

Where do I go from here?

No sense in piffling about what i did for the last 4 months. Nothing remotely interesting that would warrant a place in my blog archives.

As i grapple with my laundry, dinner and seemingly inevitable clutches of adulthood, i guess i hope this post will grease my very rusty inspiration wheels. Set the gears back into motion. Baby steps. Back to Veronica Mars. I know. I'm 4 years late. I think i'm in love with kristen bell

covers

2011-07-22T06:39:00.002+08:00

Sometimes you CAN judge a book by its cover. I spied the out of the ordinary cover among the thousands of other books on the shelf. Had no idea what it was about. Took a chance. Was not dissapointed. Best book i've read this year.

deja vu

2011-07-18T17:10:00.003+08:00

I've lost count. Of the tiny shards of glass embedded deep within, increasing in number, introducing new insults. It's now disfigured into a hideous, unforgiving, almost bitter shroud of existence. That is, if it still exists. Perhaps its been pushed back so deep, it's finally lost. Its exterior, enbalmed by a craggy thick stony harness, a protective mechanism.

I despise hope. It's there in the box for a reason. Along with the other deadly sins. I actually think its the worst of the lot. It makes you believe, makes you think you're better. It builds you up, anticipating great things. And then it heaves you down, crashing like waves on the unrelenting rocks. Only a million times harder.

It took me 2 years to recover. Bloody hell. I cant believe it's happened again. I wish it was as simple to forget. You seem to forget about me with such ease. You're not the first, you won't be the last. It's an exhausting process and I am sick of the teasing and being at the end of jokes. I'm picking up the pieces of this wreckage. Everything now is merely perfunctory.

choices

2011-07-02T19:54:00.003+08:00

(written on 9th of feb 2009)
Title : Your future plans and general career aspirations after graduation from PMS/IMU Clinical School (typewritten, not exceeding 250 words and in Font 12)

Upon graduating, I will undertake the 2 year medical foundation training and will subsequently be able to register with the General Medical Council (GMC). I view these two years vital as I will be exposed to increasing levels of complexity and a setting vastly different from where I hail. It is my humble belief that through the systematic curriculum of the UK, I will build on my acquired knowledge and thrive as the program progresses.

By the end of the 2nd year of training, I will hope to have acquired competencies to start with my specialist training. At this moment in time,

surgery appeals to me and if given the opportunity to dwell in that area of specialization, that is a career path I will like to see myself in.

Not wanting to get too ahead of myself, I realize the importance of keeping an open mind, given, that the medical world is ever evolving. I hope that clinical years will paint me a clearer picture of which route best to pursue.

Lastly, while I appreciate the fact that one has a brilliant prospect in the UK, it is my wish to return to Malaysia soon as my family still resides there.

Oh you naive little boy

Waterstones

2011-06-23T02:40:00.002+08:00

I have made, perhaps, the most important discovery to date. A quaint little cafe on top of waterstones. Yes! Praise God for Waterstones. Incomparable to Manchester, yet refreshingly adequate. Sips of hot chocolate and nibbles of lemon and poppy seed muffins to accompany my rendezvous with Audrey Niffernegger. I shall sit by the windowsill, immerse in the pages while occasionally distract myself with the little dotting coventry folk that pass below.

Just as well. My high speed internet has relegated me to a world which flourish inside the four walls of my tiny bedroom. I have acquiesced and abetted my increasingly pedantic lifestyle for too long. I sometimes envy people who exist completely in the actual world. People who are free from the clutches of facebook. People whose names draw a complete blank when you google them. People who as far as the internet is concerned do not exist. Surely, they are living life. I'm drawn too deep to remain untethered to the cyber world. Sometimes i feel as if my life is nothing but a facebook profile or an online account. It terrifies me

student-ship

2011-06-06T07:08:00.002+08:00

It dawned on me last night that life is moving at a frantically frightening pace. I caught that lightning fast glimpse of the past, a split second snapshot as i watched the flurry of congratulatory comments on facebook. Perhaps my most consequential handicap is that i miss the past too much. Always caught in the whirlwind of what used to be and constantly futilely trying to look life through the other side of the looking glass.

Can't believe that they're doctors now. Notts and dundee. More soon to follow. Has it really been 5 years? What actual bits do i remember? Not very much, the memory of it all seems to evaporate, leaving me with hazy, foggy shapes. Sometimes i feel a momentary flash of blind panic as everyone seems to be moving on so quickly with their lives and i am left behind. MBChB/MBBS, engagements, weddings, jobs. Well me? Last night i was entertaining myself with boring ol' gouty tophi and lets not go into unchartered waters of relationship. Laughable. Rufah already thinks i have no hope whatsoever. And he's probably right.

I think, most of all, i miss the security and warmth borne of the knowledge of being in a group. A group that started out together clueless but found their feet in unison and grappled their way to the top. Yet, as life has dealt its cards, seperation is inevitable. My friends have made it to the top and the journey there alone is tough. And as we become more integrated into this aggressive adult world of incentives, competition and success, who is to say we won't stray further?

lois lane

2011-05-16T04:36:00.002+08:00

clark: and you're still okay with that (with me being an alien)?

lois: are you kidding? its like dating God or Bono.

lol. I know its all scripted but erica durance's lois lane would trounce teri hatcher's lois lane in a catfight. She just has so much character and er.. spunk!

Pipe dreams

2011-05-09T02:57:00.007+08:00

I want to learn french
I want to be able to speak mandarin
I want to be in an outdoor chic cafe in paris, sipping mochas and eating macarones.
I want to go to new york and walk along 54 and broadway, visit the set of friends in manhattan and climb up the empire state building
I want to go on a road trip to the twisting, cliff-hugging pacific coast highway of california
I want to get away to the glaciars and quiet mountains of Alaska
I want to lie in a boat on the beautiful set of Lord of the rings in New Zealand
I want to be back in the little mamak shop in subang with friends and hope the night never ends
I want to go back to secondary school, taking with me the lessons i have learnt from the school of life
I want to attend a close friend's wedding
I want to feel the tiredness from running a 10km race and feel it vanish with pan mee after.
I want to vote
I want to see change in my country
I want to jump from a plane and feel the exhilaration.(maybe not)
I want to learn html so i can change my blogskin
I want to meet Jessica Alba, Cheryl Cole, Taylor Swift, Hilarie Burton, Kate Voegele, Jana Kramer, Ellen Page, Alyssa Milano, Rachel McAdams, Olivia Wilde, Laura Vandervoort and Eliza Dushku.
I want to go to a John Mayer concert
I want to go to Australia and beg Oprah to continue her show
I want to run on the pitch at Wembly this May and hug the players when they win the Champions League
I want to be a decent doctor
I want to live a good life
I want my family and friends to know Jesus
I want to know what it feels like to fall in love

'Sometimes happiness doesn’t come from money or fame or power. Sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family and the quiet nobility of leading a good life. Believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do' - Peyton Sawyer.

Going back

2011-04-23T02:16:00.002+08:00

I want to be the 7 year old who sits at the foot of the steps sleepily while my grandmother buttons my white school shirt or the wide-eyed 17 year old who only needed to worry about SPM. Not the 24 year old who has a flight to catch and have to worry about houses, bills, laundry, transport and medical exams.

I'm struggling to fall asleep. Or is my subconscious trying its very best to preserve what little time i have left. I'm distraught at the thought of going back to my routine. Long bus rides and lonely lunch times. One year of solitude. I might be staying on my own soon. Lord give me strength. In this unforgiving times, may i find comfort in You.

American idol 10

2011-03-26T02:59:00.005+08:00

What is American idol without simon cowell? When i started watching season 10, i didn't know what to expect. Can idol survive without his weekly vitriol? I had the feeling that no matter what big names they have on the judges panel now, they likely can't make the impact that SC did. J Lo and Steven Tyler were great during the auditions, but come the top 13, evidently still wet behind the ears. Many times i found myself saying, 'simon would have butchered him/her'. Can you believe that randy jackson is now the voice of reason for american idol!

Anyway, i am rooting for Thia Megia this season. I was captivated by her redition of chasing pavements in Milwaukee. Ok, plus the tiny fact that she is so cute! however, knowing america, they will most probably to vote for someone i can't stand like that country kid, scott mccreery. Prove me wrong America. Pull all the stops. Show me there is indeed life after simon cowell

Thursday

2011-03-09T06:20:00.003+08:00

Food poisoning 2 days before home.

Are you kidding me?

Should i start packing for thursday? Or is that a touch presumptious? My room is a mess. My notes are still on the wall. Cluttered be me. I can't be bothered. Constant boborygmi(boborygmuses? lol). Yes, definitely in the post exam laze phase

cool music?

2011-02-21T05:45:00.002+08:00

From time to time, there will be the odd mention of radiohead on facebook. People raving about how awesome radiohead is or facebook pictures of epic once-in-a-lifetime radiohead concerts with green eyed 'i fucking hate you bitch! i can't believe you're watching radiohead live! omg!' comments.

Now, i am slightly ashamed to admit this. I have never actually listened to radiohead. Not one song. But i love good music and i'm always on the search for new songs. My default reaction was to wiki the band. Ok, the cynic in me was impressed by their 3 Grammy wins and their number 73 rank in Rolling stone's list of 'The greatest artists of all time'. So i fired up spotify and spent my weekend listening to the best of radiohead.

I did not like radiohead.

Clearly, something was wrong. Taste in music is highly variable. I know this for a fact because my housemate thinks miley cyrus sings better than sara bareilles. However, there is a pantheon of bands or artists who are untouchable to matters of opinion. Like how almost everyone collectively agree that jason mraz is fantastic and how EVERYONE unanimously seethe at the sight of justin bieber. Radiohead's popularity is polarizing! Surely if it was good music, i could appreciate it. Even the name radiohead is beyond cool. I pacified myself and thought perhaps their songs are the type that grow on you. So i played 'creep' and 'high and dry' over and over. Despairingly, i did not feel an increasing love for radiohead.

I gave up at 7pm today. Dissapointed, perhaps shamed for eternity for not bowing down to one of the so called historic rock bands (even pinkpau has radiohead listed as one of her favourite bands). The only reason i can think of is that it is probably impossible to casually listen to them. Just like how if you have never heard of backstreetboys and you start playing 'i want it that way' or 'shape of my heart'. You might feel differently had you followed them from the very beginning.

As i've spent almost a whole weekend listening, it is almost mandated that i have a strong opinion on Radiohead. I'm sorry pinkpau. I love you but i just don't like radiohead.

february

2011-02-07T09:12:00.002+08:00

Hello February!
Pleasure meeting you. Shuffle along now. It's March i'm waiting for.

21 days to intermediate exams.
25 days to Manchester (assuming i pass)
31 days to home.

england: one year later

2011-01-28T05:38:00.002+08:00

In my one year of living abroad, i have realized:

1.that the romantic notion of snow and the phrase winter wonderland are indeed figments of imagination.

2.how useful it is to have drinkable water straight from the tap.

3.that my laptop, tefel frying pan and moisturizer have displaced my car, my handphone and astro as the three things i cannot live without.

4.that i was sorely mistaken when i thought i could smootly adapt to the british lingo. Instead, i find myself unable to shake away the years of manglish and having to constantly restructure a sentence in my head before mouthing it out.

5.that i can now astutely tell the difference between an american accent and a british accent

6.(referring to number 5) that having watched the latest Harry Potter film, i was flabbergasted at how british it was. The accents, the constant usage of 'brilliant', 'wicked', 'smashing', 'really'.

7. that i appreciate Sophie Kinsella's writings even more. Stuff like 'the big issue' and 'selfridges' and 'Harrods' meant nothing to me before. To actually visualize for myself these minute descriptions was very exciting.

8.that i find Malaysians incredibly rude. When i went back in august i was mildy amused/dissappointed that we don't hold doors for others, we don't thank people for holding doors for us and we simply cannot learn how to get into a queue.

9. that i miss home terribly. There is something about home that transcends the joke that is our political system and the occasional racial tensions. I can't pinpoint if its the food, family, friends, or the memories. I just find it comforting knowing i have somewhere to return to.

10.that i may be turning domestic. I can produce edible food on the dinner table, skin an onion without weeping, know the difference between pak choi and choi sum and finding out that 'tau yew bak' turns out best with pork shoulder.

Obviously there's more but i just thought i'd come up with a few as it was vexing not having any entries for over a month.

2010 in hindsight

2011-01-04T01:17:00.002+08:00

2010 was all about personal growth. It was about stepping outside my comfort zone, peeling away the layers of bubble wrap and adjusting to this whole new world around me. Its crazy how time has flown in the last 12 months. It did feel like eternity at times, but the realization that i've been in England for a year is mindblowing. This time one year ago i was still in my naive little subang coccoon, contented and happy.

Coming here has changed me. And i'm not sure if it's for the better. I think in the past year, i've felt more anger or despair than i've ever felt in my life. I knew people can be selfish and offensive but i could choose to avoid them. Its the constant disregard of concord and grace thats battering me left, right, center and i'm wallowed in bitterness. Its the pettiness driving me up the wall. Things have been farcical. Surely there has to be a limit to how much people can irritate you, but nothing surprises me anymore.

It's probably not the best of starts to the year harbouring hostilities, but it has made me into a steelier person. Im not afraid anymore to say 'up yours' anymore if you thread on my toes. At the same time, i appreciate acts of goodwill even more. My new year resolution is to focus on the intermediate exam ahead and then the very much awaited job application. The chance to get as far away as possible, working in the vicinity of much loved ones. Up till a few days ago, my resolution was to work towards that happiness. A very wise Julian Baker reminded me that happiness is not a destination. Therefore, my other 2011 resolution, no matter how tough it may be, is to enjoy the journey as much as possible. so that when i look back at these tough times in the future, i can say my final years as a student was worth it.

2010 in hindsight

2011-01-02T01:32:00.005+08:00

I'm so glad Joonie and Britney and JL came to notts to teman me celebrate new years eve!!
Happy new year everyone! muax muax!!

-ch3ngz

3 days to Christmas

2010-12-22T22:23:00.000+08:00

I'm absolutely psyched about Christmas! GP is done and dusted, mock OSCEs are behind me and i've just woken up from a 10 hour sleep. Suddenly, life isn't half bad. I've got the whole house to myself, i'm singing carols on top of my voice while stuffing my face with chocolates and doritos. Maybe i should get a christmas tree, a wreath and some flashy lights to really get myself in the mood. My plan for the day: milo in bed+ love actually+ the holiday+ just friends+ the family man.

And everyone's coming tomorrow! Christmas day is hereee, the most wonderful wonderful wonderful day of the yearrrr

happy anniversary blog

2010-11-30T05:25:00.005+08:00

Four years ago, i succumbed to the trend of self-expression on the internet. I didn't really put much thought/hope into it-my initial enthusiasm with things fizzle out fairly quickly. Why should it be any different with blogging? I started off with a couple of (in hindsight) whiny posts about exams and trivial junk. Then, i used the blog as an outlet to vent my teenage angst and more irrelevant entries about university life. At a certain point, i started to appreciate this platform i had where i was free to say whatever i want about anything i want. Life as a medical student puts a strain on your sanity. So i turned to my blog, scribbling down my unexpressed opinions as a form of literary cathartic therapy.

As i grew older, i was fascinated to see how the blog evolved WITH me. My interests diversified and dare i say i became slightly more mature? Certain events of mine are cemented in the online archives for posterity. In the past year, i too, found the blog a useful place to signpost various events that occured. For example my tribute to sesame street which was influential in my growing up and it was something i felt very strongly about sharing. It is sad that blogger has taken a backseat since the inception of twitter and facebook.The days where almost everyone had a blog are gone. I guess now we get a strangely satisfying glimpse of our friends' lives or daily routines from quick, abbreviated status reports on facebook/twitter. Even I enjoy my daily one liners and instant feedback, something blogger cannot provide.Nevertheless, blogging remains something close to my heart. After all, the 420 characters facebook allow is hardly enough when you have something meaningful in mind.

A last word to the people who are frequent followers of my writings. I may have lost readers over the years due to erratic and infrequent posts, but my heartfelt appreciation to friends who stay interested over these four years. Future posts may be seperated by long silent weeks but be assured that i have no intent of letting this blog rot away.

twenty three

2010-11-06T21:18:00.003+08:00

Excerpt of a conversation at the Warwick Malaysian Society Freshers welcoming party.

A: So which college did you go to?
Me: Taylor's. You?
A: ME TOO! What class were you in?
Me: Em i was in PM1, the one with maths, bio, chem and physics
A: Ooooo! How come i haven't seen you before?
Me: Em i must have graduated earlier lah. I was in the 0501 cohort (Jan 2005). You must be from 0701/0801 right. That's why you haven't seen me before.
A: *stunned silence* Im from 0901......

At 23, i am still trying to make sense of human anatomy, differentiating between complex and confusing drugs and gradually digesting the unglamorous part of medicine. I see people i went to school with already working, in stable relationships, getting married, having kids while I am still desperately fumbling through the fog of life. Somehow, i've also realized that those things aren't what i want at this point in my life. I've always been intrigued by the different trodden paths of life and how they diverge. Some people's paths are as straight as an arrow. No little bends or turns. Should i envy these people? My life has its twists but i've looked back with satisfaction on how things have panned out. 5 years ago, i read Jeremiah 29:11. 'For i know the plans i have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.' Each year i am reminded how God make things happen. The morbid person that i am may constantly whine about my dull life. Nevertheless, at 23, I am happy to look forward to passing my intermediate professional exams and going back home for electives.

Familiarity

2010-10-25T05:51:00.005+08:00

I know i use strong language when it comes to describing the political state of our country. Its because i am so sick of reading about UMNO's usual brand of racial posturing and firebrand rhetoric. Tired of listening to their illogical policies and shocking cover-ups. My abrasiveness has led to people questioning if I dislike my country and somewhat mockingly suggest that i should migrate instead of spouting complaints. On the contrary, the sentiment i have, which i am sure i share with fellow malaysians abroad, is that we rant because we care.

I was on the bus on Tuesday, heading back after popping to iceland to get some milk. As i pulled my keys out, i clumsily sent my pound coins splaying onto the floor. Panicking as my stop was rapidly approaching, i went on all fours searching. A kind lady and her son helpfully joined in the hunt. I heard the lady say 'Tengok belakang ada lagi tak'. It was obviously directed to her son but in the madness of the moment, i forgot i was in England and answered, 'macam takde lagi la'. What happened next was an exchange of thanks and embarrassed smiles. As i alighted, i couldn't help but muse at the entire affair. It reminded me of how much I miss my country despite the ever present political turmoil. You know the saying familiarity only breeds contempt? Well, sometimes, familiarity does breed content.

Infatuation

2010-10-18T05:32:00.002+08:00

sigh. i miss you peyton sawyer. One tree hill is crap without you.

Barcelona

2010-10-01T01:58:00.006+08:00

Like always, my mental canvas of sunny spain with its Sombreros, modest (square) white buildings, flamencos and barefoot teens kicking a football down some sandy street failed to transpire. I spent the first week of my summer with William and Jianloong in the reigns of Barcelona. Gritty, crowded Barcelona with its brusqueness and carefree attitude towards life. People of Barcelona who are impulsive and mainly indulge in the present. We stayed along La Rambla during our trip, quite possibly the busiest thoroughfare where raucous street sounds continued late into the night.

People here are impossibly beautiful. The girls- simply out of this world. And when i utter this compliment, it's not just the odd one or twos i'm thinking of, its the throngs of leggy,perfectly tanned babes that unfairly grace only this miniscule part of the globe. As if perpetually teasing with their shorts and stilettos wasn't enough, Barcelona's beach are teeming with topless/bikini clad goddesses. However, unlike both my travel mates, i did not spend the entire trip oogling and taking pot shots. I mean, the girls were great but the austere Catalan architecture was piercingly sublime. As my knowledge on architecture is next to nothing and I can only pretend to admire what students of architecture may be utterly fascinated by, i'll let the pictures talk instead.

roof of Sagrada Familia

Stained glass windows

Paintings of the floor about Jesus coming on a donkey.

More of Gaudi's work in Barcelona

The magic numbers. Sum of each row equals 33

Palau de la Musica from the outside.

Mozaic walls telling a story

Camp Nou haha.

Jesus :)
On top of Montserrat

I know, the temptation was too great.

More random pictures

Sangria!
The Barcelona pasar malam

As much as i found Barcelona delightful, by the end of the trip, the heat was tiresome, the robust nightlife was not for me nor could i stomach any more clams. I once read that Barcelona is like one of those tryingly beautiful and energetic women whom all men are able to identify among their acquaintances. Yet, she can excite passion only for short periods. I find this to be very true. You can fall into some kind of infatuation with Barcelona for it invokes some extremely delirious attachment. But sadly, a romantic city, it is not.

Sound familiar?

2010-09-13T00:43:00.001+08:00

My heart is still on holiday

2010-09-09T03:27:00.007+08:00

In the end, 2 weeks simply wasn't enough. I cannot explain why i semi-shouted 'Yes! I'm going home' to the lovely lady at the boarding gates or describe the exhilaration when the plane landed on the typical monsoon rain covered KLIA landing strip. I cannot for the life of me justify running to my car in the middle of the night and drive aimlessly around. I cannot understand how we manage to plan mamak and Dota sessions each night without fail. I cannot forgive myself for not watching more movies or eating Bak Kut Teh or Char Kuey Tiao. Malaysia in March. They say the feeling isn't as great the second time around. I couldn't care less what anyone says. There is too deep a longing and too many loose ends to tie.

Barcelona post soon

short and sweet

2010-08-17T01:34:00.002+08:00

Sometime in march i started the practice of planting circles on important dates on my mini calander and crossing out the days left till i got back. It was a religious practice during the surgical block, one which admittedly provoked more depression than solace. As i adapted to psychiatry, I would go weeks without bothering about the calendar and gleefully strike out each miniscule digit upon remembrance. The practice was totally abandoned during orthopedics as work piled.Without realizing, the fuzzy, sloth filled days went unnoticed and unmarked. It's been 8 months. Fuck the calender. I'm back.

Stagnant and stale

2010-08-01T04:05:00.003+08:00

I'm pissed that i've been reduced to watching anime and writing portfolios on a friday night. There's a party at my clinical partner's house which i was invited to but i can't make it because its right on the other side of lemmington and I don't drive. I probably wouldn't have gone anyway because I don't know anyone. Gah.

I haven't felt the tacky surface of my Nike basketball in 8 months. I'm pissed that the pesky teens i play with will tear me inside out when i get back. Damn, the first thing i'm going to do when i get back is hit the abrasive asphalt court and grind the form back. Okay, make that the second thing to do after my thosai masala.

friendster

2010-07-18T08:06:00.003+08:00

For some reason i visited friendster after a 2 year hiatus. I thought it would be fun to re read my testimonials, you know reminding myself of the person i was then. After sifting through the birthday wishes, i realized that most of them either had the word dota or noob. Must had been quite addicted eh?

Sigh, good times
I want my old life back.

psychiatry

2010-06-27T17:48:00.006+08:00

The first thing they teach you in psychiatry is that everyone has some sort of psychiatric disorder. That, and the fact that doctors have an extremely high rate of suicide.

Often touted as the 'cinderella speciality', psychiatry has never really been taken seriously by medical students. It's the block where we are a little less intense and a bit more laid back. Even the gung-ho ones take days off and go home early. Truthfully, psychiatry is what you see in movies like 'shutter island' or 'one flew over the cuckoo's nest', only probably 10 times milder. Yes, loony bearded heretics muttering in locked up dingy, grimy cells are figments of imagination and an example of Hollywood exaggeration. Even John Nash's visual hallucinations in 'A beautiful mind' are extremely uncommon among schizophrenics. Straitjackets, drilling holes into people's heads, electric chairs and other similar torture devices are definitely a thing of the past.

Having such an epithet is bad enough for a genuine medical specialty and certainly TV shows or movies don't help either. I felt moderately annoyed when i watched the last few episodes of Heroes where they portrayed a mental hospital as a prison-like facility. Its the 21st century and people must be enlightened by how psychiatry has developed across the years and shake off delusions pertaining to institutionalization of the mentally ill. No, it is not true that once you go in you will never come out (we don't want you here. there isn't enough beds!). No, our drugs wont put you in a stupor. We actually want you to get better and hope to never see you again!
Needless to say, perceptions of the mentally ill must change as well. No, not everyone in a mental facility is a befuddled, neurotic like Woody Allen or a psychopath like Hannibal Lecter. They're normal people at the end of bad breaks or suffering as a result precocious upbringing.

Though i may pooh-pooh the significance of going in during my psychiatric block, this is by no means a reflection of how i feel towards the profession. For people who brand this particular specialty as trivial, remember three things. One, there is no other specialty in medicine which has more doctor-patient interaction. Two, likewise, there is no other medical field where doctor-patient interaction is more crucial to recovery. And three, when you are 60 and you can't find your way home or forget the names of your children, who do you go to?

JK wedding

2010-05-27T04:23:00.003+08:00

I absolutely love this excerpt of pam and jim's wedding. I've watched this video over 30 times and it never fails to make me smile throughout. If you're feeling down, WATCH IT. You may not have followed the office and appreciate all the characters but i guarantee this will make you smile.

The cambridge experience

2010-05-22T20:47:00.007+08:00

Cambridge in spring is amazing. Walking through clustered halls and majestic colleges. Acres of bright green grass with apple trees and geese trodden paths. Students sitting by the lakes beneath cloudless skies. Its easy to close your eyes and momentarily eclipse life, taking in the surroundings - swirling around 13th century architecture, breathing in the richness of history in this place, appreciating the calm ephemeral before waking up to splashes of overexcited ducks.

Cycling through the city with vin shen and william past rows and rows of cafes, baguette stores, marketplaces and ice cream stands. Through the hallowed hallways of Christ, Girton, Magdelene, St Johns, Kings and Trinity. Listening to stories of how the mistress of Christ college preferred St Johns and lavished them with more wealth and love. Spying glimpses of the mammoth ivory towers as i huffed up 'Orgasm bridge'- aptly named because of the steep ride up the hill followed by a whirlwind of relief and pleasurable decent haha. I had the rare opportunity of going punting in the river Cam; not just sitting in the boat but actually had a go at with the 16 feet long pole. All i will say about my skill is that I successfully turned the boat a full 360 degrees lol.

Had a taste of Cambridge formals. Dining hall, dressed in a suit, tie and a borrowed gown. The whole experience screamed harry potter. Sitting at the long rectangular table, with other Cambridge students, eating with four separate knives and forks placed daintily on each side of the plate. Bread and butter, chicken, peas and potatoes, carrot cake, glass jugs of juice, coffee and tea. Its sooo english! Tried my utter best to put on a cultured front while making small talk to a 19 year old boy about Latin, all the while thinking why would anyone want to study a dead language? Funny how much william opens up after a little alcohol. Really glad for them that they're both enjoying it so much at cambridge. It's a lovely place.

On the way to the formal.

dinner hall! long rectangular tables and portraits of famous people.

John Milton, famous author of Paradise Lost. It is a tradition that the birthday guy/girl would have to kiss the statue's nose after making a speech

Notice the weird thing on the right arm? Its the leg of a stool. Apparently some Cambridge students climbed all the way up there and exchanged it for the original sword. LOL

my version of diagon alley :D
beautiful beautiful halls of residence

the very exclusive Hawk's club- which vin shen is a member of. You have to really excel in sports to be a member

Hawks burger. Body building food. Rah Rah.

Punting on the river Cam.

Bridge of sighs in the background. It connects the halls of residence and the exam halls. Legend has it that there were numerous reports of students jumping off the bridge due to exam stress.

A lost goose

More beautiful gardens.

Some ducks eying our lunch

That's all for now. Goodbye land of laureates, future presidents, tycoons and overachievers. Its been a pleasure.

hey soul sister!

2010-05-17T18:46:00.005+08:00

Holy shit, i thought they were gone for good. Drops of jupiter was what, like secondary school? Saw their new single 'hey soul sister' at number 3 on the american charts and checked it out on youtube. Can't stop listening and dancing foolishly to the catchy beat and funny lyrics.

hey, hey, hey,
'your lipstick stains
on the front lobe of my left side brains'.

The album is fantastic so far.

The office

2010-05-07T21:17:00.002+08:00

It's wierd nowadays when people say they watch TV. Its wierd because they don't literally watch the idiot box anymore, its likely they mean 'i watched last night's episode of eastenders on my laptop'. I know its not surprising. You get stuff off the net much easier these days and you're not bound by NBC or BBC's foundering timeslots. You choose what you watch when you want to. I've been 'watching quite a lot of TV' lately. On my laptop. haha. Supernatural and Vampire diaries marathons. The odd 90210, Chuck and Smallville episodes. The old faithfuls: One tree hill, Grey's, House, Heroes, Gossip girl, HIMYM. I probably should get acquainted with British TV now that i'm here but the few i've watched on tele are pretty boring. So nah. Anyway that's not what this post is about.

So i recently discovered The Office. The American Version. With all due respect to the original British Version, i must say that The American version of The Office is truly one of the greatest comedic works of our era. For the benefit of those who've not seen it before, it is a sitcom with a staggeringly honest look at social behavior and personal values via the daily on goings at a typical office workplace called Dundler Mifflin. The scriptwriters flawlessly evolve the multifaceted characters across the seasons and create an actual illusion of everyday office life caught in motion by creatively using a camera crew to interview the characters at various points in each episode. Profoundly hilarious and emotional, it is an American sitcom very unlike its predecessors which constantly had Hollywood megabucks earning celebs playing guest starring roles. The Office revolves around a cast which reminds us of ourselves, normal everyday people with awkward mannerisms and traits,and yet prove an equally necessary presence in the world.

My favourite character is Dwight Schrute, played by Rainn Wilson. He is this hilarious suck up who despite his lack of social skills and common sense is actually a very good sales person. He's probably the main reason why i watch The Office and i think you'll see why after these few quotes of his which i'm going to leave you with.

1. i am faster than 80% of all snakes
2. i grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat, couple of pigs watching
3. if i could menstruate, i wouldn't have to deal with idiotic calenders anymore. I'd just be able to count down from my previous cycle. plus id be more in tune with the moon and tides.
4. When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had adsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
5. When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time, to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.
6. Why tip someone for a job I’m capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.
7. Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up I performed my own circumcision.
8. I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War Two veteran killed twenty men and spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp. My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.

Geriatrics

2010-04-22T20:05:00.004+08:00

The best part of my day in the hospital is when i get to deal with old people. I know.. You're thinking 'Old people'?? Are you serious?? Frail, cachectic looking patients with gollum features hooked onto ventilators? While you're at it, why not throw in a couple of ghastly tubes and a venflon or two. All right, i guess it can't be helped. After all, that's the public's (or my initial) consensus of old people in the hospital. Except, we couldn't be more wrong in this instance. If there is one thing i've realised from the past 8 weeks is how incredibly pleasant the elderly are and how hard it is to refrain myself from throttling some of the younger patients.

Each morning on the ward round, i see wide-eyed old ladies sitting on their beds with hospital headphones strapped over their head and ears watching goodness-knows-what on the tele. The sight is so adorable, i have to suppress my laughter. My registrar constantly pokes fun at them. Yesterday i saw an old man in the gastrointestinal ward, surrounded by 40-50 year olds. He looked out of place, so antiquated, for a place that is so sharp and sterile. He had a sudoku book and i thought it was so nice, him just sitting there with the miniature puzzle. Baffling how sharp your mind can be even though you're 80. I think he remembered me clerking him and he waved at me.

Old people here are full of wisdom. It sounds very cliche-ish. But cliches are cliches because there is always some truth in them. The thing i find most distinctively different as a medical student here as compared to being one in Malaysia is that amount of medical jargon conversed by patients is amazing.

Medical student: Are you taking any medications for your problem?
IMU simulated patient: Oh, my doctor gave me that yellow pill, i dunno what is the name ah.
Patient in the real world: Yes, i'm taking 20mg Omeprazole once daily, Gaviscon twice a day and Simvastatin for my cholesterol.

Me: Have you had previous surgery before?
Patient in the real world: I had a subtotal colectomy for ulcerative colitis 3 years ago and which left me with an ileal stoma.

Touche.

I take the bus most days and again its surprising that most of my co-passengers are those with walking sticks, white hairs and wrinkle etched faces. They're ever so polite and i always get this feeling that all the old people in coventry seem to know one another. Random old lady A boards the bus and starts being chatty to random old lady B about her grandchildren. Or random old lady C holds random old lady D while the bus jerks unexpectedly.

The other day, while Jian loong and I were on the bus, we saw an old lady trying to get on. She must have lost her footing or missed a step and tumbled head first onto the uneven wooden platform. The front row people rushed to help her up and the embarrassed poor thing said, " Im not drunk! Honest." Hahaha! I certainly hope people will appreciate me this much when i get old.

first date with london

2010-04-10T08:33:00.009+08:00

I've had great expectations of London. Great expectations stemming from my Enid Blyton years where days in London were of mischievous school children and traumatized nannies, of tea time stories of gollywogs, devious imps and follies, men in long black trench coats, proper young ladies with white gloves and umbrellas strolling amicably with their handmaids and ragged orphans who dash down cobblestoned streets with stolen hot cross buns. The exceptionalism that i've heard of, had me longing to seek the one true city of the UK (apart from manchester).

I found London to be very unlike what i had imagined. Perhaps it was because i expected too much of a city i had never been too. Perhaps it was because the nights before i left for London were filled with 90210 and Naomi/Silver-ish fantasies in bright sparkly Beverly Hills. My metropolitan mindset of skyscrapers in London was strikingly mistaken for rustic buildings with the unmistakable square windows and Victorian brick roofs. Had i left Coventry for a bigger version of it? People were busy, the staff unfriendly. The famous red buses were exactly like the Travel Coventry buses, only differing in colour. At this point, i have to admit that i was disappointed with the hemisphere of hostility surrounding my misty mind image of London.

And yet amid the self doubt and gloomy tension surrounding London city, there was this hidden swagger and spirit that unfolded. The sense of different languages conversed, the thin strips of sidewalk, the low-rise expanse, the confusing street twists. It came across a city with so strong a sense of identity. Its massiveness took me by surprise but i guess that being lost in London is what gives the city its distinctive feel. By now i had absorbed the boldness of culture and vigor on offer. Men in coats urging passers-by to buy the latest musical ticket. Wicked was in town with raving reviews. but it was 25 pounds and i thought the book was just all right.

Actual monopoly street signs, eye-catching ancient designs on architecture, the ever present underground tube,and the small delightful reading cafes. Fish and chips wrapped in newspapers, huge pizzas in windows, the whiff of freshly brewed coffee and vendors deep-frying huge sausages. If there was something i got right about London, it had to be the weather. Mid day showers, puddles and grey clouds brought out the much needed melancholy in me. I sort of expected people to come out with the classic black umbrellas or blue paddington bear raincoats.

Some pictures of London:first view of london. Not a very good first impression? Dark cloudy and gloomy.

very amused at the huge Malaysian flag in Leicester Square

The artistic murals on the walls of the train station depicting various points in history

Picadilly Square/Soho at night. Next to the famous Samsung electronic billboard

The newspaper-wrapped fish and chips i was talking about

Has got to be the world's most expansive roti canai.

London's very 'pathetic' equivalent of Pavillion. The prices inside are far from pathetic though.

The British National Museum. I was much more impressed in the roof design than anything inside to be honest

Me next to London Bridge

Kwan and I with Lynn Xuan who took good care of us in London.

And of course. i've always wanted to do this.

It's like going on a first date and having different expectations from how it actually turned out. But as the date goes on, you find yourself being absorbed into things you never thought about in the past. I'm asking London out on a second date. Explore different parts of her. Going to take it slow and who knows? I might actually fall in love with London.

CNY in nottingham

2010-04-05T19:21:00.009+08:00

Procrastination and a hectic timetable is a lethal combination. CNY was ages ago and the memories/photos/blog post idea aptly slipped off the radar as i hustled with my daily perfunctory. Took the early morning bus down to nottingham station where Danis whisked us to Dunkirk (or something like that) in his blue Audi. Ah, the joys of having a car here. I'm really envious that they're living in an area principally populated by Malaysians. How nice to be constantly surrounded by lahs and sohais and cibais. Needless to say, there was a wicked amount of food and booze. We even had yee sang made from scratch! Edwina really outdid herself this time. As soon as the chopsticks were handed out and the the last drop of honey concoction was poured, cries for Teck
Jian to find love in the new year filled the room. Yee sang was flung in the air, across the table and all over. We got drunk, we gambled, we reminisced of old times, we did what Malaysians normally do during CNY. I took a few pictures that day but when i scanned through the mossy archive, i realized that they were all blurry and a tad too candid. Blame it on my lack of photography-sense or perhaps everyone had a little too much to drink and were bouncing about like hyper energized bunnies. Ill blog about London soon, i promise.

surgery block

2010-03-12T06:31:00.002+08:00

People think that surgery is where all the glamour, big bucks and sex appeal is. They see the operating teatre as the medical colosseum where battles for life are won or lost daily. Surgeons. They're control freaks. With the scalpel in hand, they're unstoppable. There's no fear, no pain. They're ten feet tall and bulletproof. Emotions are messy. Tuck them away neatly and step into the sterile room. Cut, suture, close. Back to the lounge for a cup of coffee. Cool as steel. They remain strong when everyone else has broken down. An 85 year old chap with tortuous 5.8cm abdominal aorta aneurysm. 15% chance of death on the operating table because of his heart problems and age. 60% chance of rupture over the year if left alone. Calm and collected, never flinching, decisive with a game plan. They're willing to operate if you're willing to take the risk. How do they sleep at night knowing that the next day someone could die on their watch?

I can understand the adrenaline rush of playing God and the unbelievable satisfaction of a successful operation. But i can think of hundred other reasons why i do not want to be a surgeon. There comes a time when i have to make a decision. To be led into the tempting surgical haven with the lawsuit, sleepless nights and stressful iceberg. Or choose medicine where you interact and treat rather than cutting people up like a slab of meat. Is that less gratifying i wonder. For now when the role call begins, im happy to say, Joonheng, medical student. Ill leave the worrying till much later.

'i know, you see somehow the world will change for me and be so wonderful'
-miranda cosgrove, iCarly theme song. my morning alarm tone.

Rants

2010-02-13T06:40:00.000+08:00

what the fuck is the deal with all this spamming?!?

I've wised up to the single wooden floorboard just outside the bathroom which creaks whenever someone steps on it. My parquet and tile pampered feet are gradually growing accustomed to the carpety feeling. A quick dash to the grocers or post office need no longer be accompanied by jumpers or scarves or gloves, although it probably be some time before i mimic the weirdos who jog in shorts. Its been a month.

The shift from phase 1 to phase 2 has been staggering. I guess the path to being a doctor has really and truly begun. Warwick is a good school, and i'm not saying it out of biasness. From the month i've been here i've been immensely impressed with the quality of teaching. Look forward to weekends now to sleep in and get some respite. 9-5 teaching sessions plus 2 hour bus ride daily takes its toll.

being away from home and reading facebook posts about mamak plans and joyous 'im back in subang' messages is hard to stomach. Just MSN-ed with wenkiat a few days back after an abysmal ward day and just realize how much i miss everyone back at home. I don't have anyone i can call a friend yet here. Its been hard to adapt. It requires lots and lots of courage and optimism and patience. Uplifted by miniscule things like kind batchmates who approach me to chat when i'm sitting awkwardly by myself. Or kind patients in the stroke ward who thank you repeatedly even though you made a mess out of a procedure. Or the boyish grin from an elderly stroke patient getting his haircut. Most of all, for donated benches to rest my weary knees while i wait for the bus after the senescence of yet another long day.

Notifications

2010-01-22T08:20:00.005+08:00

i should be sleeping right now because there is radiology teaching at university hospital tomorrow morning. But an outrageous number of notifications on facebook led me to a prehistoric picture which i couldn't help but burst out in peals of laughter. As i did a quick virtual time travel, i hastily navigated through the thousand mental images stuffed somewhere beneath the cobwebs of my memory. i laughed at the ridiculous hairstyles and revisited the somewhat familiar faces which the passing years has led me to forget. i sit back and ponder on the paucity of responsibilities we had back then which were evident on our foreheads. Friendships which withstood the test of time and distance. I'm reading the 70 over comments evoked by a single picture and i realize that it isn't just me who miss the yesteryears. Although somewhere along the line i had grown up (i think) and the world no longer revolves around PJ football sessions or night tuition classes or adolescent crushes, it would be nice to take a step back into those old 2001 shoes. Well sadly, the shoes don't fit anymore. we travel different paths, having different priorities. I'm poignant yet rather surprised at my sobriety in reminiscence
.

haha. ok. enough laughing at the 2001 me. going back under the duvet. Good night world.

you kay!

2010-01-18T07:06:00.005+08:00

i guess i missed my annual end-year/new year blog post. all the anxiety of packing, winter shopping, then falling ill (always at the most unfortunate of times) and the pulsating thought of leaving Malaysia for some considerable time kinda took its toll. Nothing much happened in the year 2009 though. Rats, quality time with family and friends, rats, fourth imu cup, more rats. I had a brilliant post on how to survive Bmed penned out, but the viral infection threw a spanar in the works and i couldn't be bothered now that its been so long.

Today its officially the 13th day in coventry. The snowed-over roofs of buildings and cars have thawed and the once unrecognizable facade is starting to reveal itself. It still feels surreal every morning not waking up to my bedroom that i've been so accustomed to and not walking down the stairs to flip the sports section of The Star. I dreadfully miss Malaysia and the people. Hats off to Wai ken, Sarah, Crissida, Peng Loon,Yin Wei, Ching Mei, Evelyn, Eugene, Chok Yew and Teck Khiam for that farewell montage. Yong how, Win Sern, Ardee, Yi ming and Kwok Meng for that memorably final mamak haha. Jan, Adrian, ahLoo, Kah Weng, and Pei for calling me before i flew off. And of course Rufah, Ghi Waie, Yilin, William and Rainie for sending us off at KLIA. Thanks guys.

I get envious messages about being so close to the snow. I kind of get the whole romantic notion of soft falling flakes (when im peering out from the window of my central heated room). but when i take a step out onto the sidewalks and the wind starts whipping around, i picture an imaginary hand wrangling the necks of those who still think the snow is all that. How we clutched onto our jackets and desperately scuttle from one building to the other. How the first few days our noses were constantly red. I realized i did take the Malaysian weather for granted. Sure it rains heavily but most of the time we pop into our cars and pop out in some underground carpark. I guess in some ways we're lucky.

Lack of internet is a real bitch. Feeding off the next door's but it can go off any minute. Oh well, enough to get back on track.

valentine's day!

2009-12-21T01:08:00.006+08:00

Watch out for this! This February, the directors of Pretty Women and Princess Diaries bring you the latest chic flick blockbuster: Valentines Day. Before you start commenting on the uninspired movie title and brush this off as yet another valentine's day chic flick gimmick, you should take a look at the awesome all-star cast.

Ashton Kutcher, Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway, Shirly Maclaine, Jessica Alba, Jessica Beil, Jennifer Garner, Bradley Cooper. Nope that's not all.

Patrick Dempsey and Eric Dane.Mcdreamy + Mcsteamy. Which girl wouldn't want to watch this movie?
And taylor square :)

Is this the most star-studded cast ever assembled or what? Jessica Alba and taylor swift IN THE SAME MOVIE? Its like a dream come true

christmas wishlist

2009-12-13T22:25:00.003+08:00

1. My UK visa.
Fickle little document that allows you to enter the bloody Queen's land. After much chasing, finally received the offer letter. Going on Wednesday!

2. Revised Thesis
Need to find a place which does hard cover binding! And can engrave/print gold letters. Then the annoying attempt to claim money from IMU. I think the whole 100 ringgit a day cap is absurd.

3. Laptop
Waiting for Kwok Meng to be back from Thailand.... Then, more consulting and indecisiveness. At least now i know i want a DELL.

4. Winter Clothing
Never have i been more thankful to live on the equator. Those puffy jackets cost a bomb here. I'm getting desperate, i don't even have a proper sweater. Everything here is either a) not suitable for winter or b) unbelievably expansive.

5. Accomodation in the UK
Boo to IMU and Warwick for assuring us that we would have a place on-campus. Kwan and I are frantically looking online for properties to rent. Haven't had much success lately. Most properties are available only in summer 2010. Emailed a few agents. Praying for good news. *EDIT: Agent replied kwan.

6. Packing
People are right. How do you pack a lifestyle?

7. Reunion
Its so sad. I'm leaving in days and everyone is too busy to meet up

Defending twilight

2009-12-09T14:05:00.003+08:00

That's it. I think it's about time someone laid down the gauntlet. Enough with the twilight fan bashing antics already.

Ever since new moon's productions hit the ground, the series has been a running gag. They belittle the books, the plot, the author, the actors. People post snippets of information about the twilight series on facebook and blogs, but under auspices of irritation. The four book series which sold millions of copies worldwide became the object of their boisterous jokes. And they have the cheek to make snarky remarks about fans of the series.

People make haughty deleterious assumptions about the nature of Twilight fans. Everyone who reads/watches twilight are clearly under 15 with tons of teen estrogen surging through their bodies. Anyone else is plain gay or stupid. Clearly, this not the first of this sort of overgeneralization that has been made, but it is certainly the most recent. I'm incensed that they categorize fans as infantile, insatiable, and unreasonable. Sure, its easy to jump on the twilight-haters bandwagon and brand everything as gay and cheesy and lame. It's easy to insult twilight in your articles or blogs in hope to increase traffic to your pathetic sites.

Today, someone posted on facebook the 95 reasons why she hates twilight. It certainly isn't the first of this sort of rubbish. I had the massive urge to type GET A FREAKIN LIFE. If you have the time to think and post 95 reasons why you hate twilight, you're obviously a sad, lonely soul.

1. Twilight vampires have no fangs. OMFG. its the end of the world.

2. Bella is a plain, emo character with no hobbies and a klutz. And still she has guys fighting for her. Firstly, its written in the first person POV. Who in the world other than a narcissistic, self absorbed person would describe themselves as God's gift to mankind? Secondly, its fiction. F-I-C-T-I-O-N.

3. Stephenie Meyer is a bad writer. You try writing a four series novel which can sell millions of copies worldwide. Before you do that, you have no right to call anyone a bad writer.

4. Twilight vampires sparkle! Holy crap! They sparkle! Again, its the end of the world!

5. Have you read the book? Nope. It sucks because everyone says it sucks. Most of the people i ask who hates twilight vehemently have not read the book. Why are we having this conversation again?

6. I read the book and its freaking cheesy. Are you a fan of romance novels? Hell no. Give me books about Jedi Knights and Orcs anyday. Why are we having this conversation again?

Not only is the negativity unnecessary, but it is also quite reflective of critics themselves. While i respect that not everyone can or will be a twi-hard, assimilating your dislike for the series and normative treatment to fans is pure spite and discrimination. So perhaps, if you don't have anything nice to say about twilight, don't say anything at all.

fishy tale

2009-11-28T21:10:00.002+08:00

My mother was getting her weekly supply of fresh fish from the fishmonger at the market the other day. The lorry kind laden with ginormous plastic containers filled with ice and fish. Shame on you if lah if you have no idea what i'm talking about. You should go out to the market more often.

So, everyone was minding their own business and selecting their respective sea urchins when suddenly there were shouts of 'mata lai liao ah'. The unmistakable siren was blaring and the patrol car skidded right in front of the lorry. Two pompous looking officers circled the lorry and eyed the voluptuous montain of fish. 'Cantik ah ikan,' officer A growled while pretending to take out his notepad. Several despicable exchanges later, the two officers left with a bag of fresh fish as the fishmonger watched ruefully as he was robbed of his best fishes. It turned out that he has been applying for a license for over 10 years. The scene with the officers was a common ritual which he had to endure to avoid being heavily fined or worse, having his wares confiscated.

The fishmonger's tale is only one of the few of many who suffer daily from the harsh injustice in this country. Hedonism and corrupt law enforcements are but a blind in front of the seemingly decreasing corruption perception index. A government aware of this problem but choosing instead to turn a deaf ear is no better than a government ravaging the people's pockets. Oh wait. They're doing that too.

stark realization

2009-11-12T22:33:00.002+08:00

i cleared my drawer today.

sorted, arranged, stapled, filed and tucked all the notes from sem 1 to 5.

It really shouldn't have taken me by surprise. But it's not until the moment i stacked the notes up, and examine it in retrospect, that i realize how much mugging we had to do. And the immediate subsequent wonderment of how i went through it. And the suspicion that perhaps i was more hardworking than i thought. haha. who am i kidding? what do i even care? its over now. i see the facebook statuses of juniors fretting over their respective EOS. and sadistically, i feel its only fitting that the cycle continues. Its part and parcel of being in IMU and for better or worse, we'll look back in wonder at those trying times.

happy 40th anniversary sesame street!

2009-11-09T12:34:00.003+08:00

Google comes up with brilliant google doodles , you know, the 'google' logo in cleverly depicted shapes to commemorate a birthday of a famous person or a major event. Recently, google featured sesame street characters in the google doodle series in conjunction with the 40th anniversary of sesame street. I've seen big bird(or rather just his legs), bert and ernie, oscar, elmo and today's feature, the count. Its a fitting tribute to arguably the most influential kid's television show ever produced. In times where kids are tuned in to dora and her magical talking backpack, hannah montana or the jonas brothers, the waning effect of sesame street on modern society is a cause for concern.

People who pooh-poohed the notion of colorful muppets being given airtime on national television, either have not watched it or are stupid enough not to realise its enormous impact. Sesame street was a perpetually daring experiment in television history which succeeded in educating children worldwide. No show has affected the way we think about education, childhood development and cultural diversity more than sesame street. For one, it was the first kids television show that had parents who were black. The kids were not chauffer driven, did not hang out in malls, oblivious to the prada and gucci which miley cyrus and co are exhibiting ostentatiously. Their milieu was the porch on a regular street, not on fancy varandas or expensively built bangelows. It was the perfect platform for parents who wanted to raise their kids the proper way.

For all its docility, sesame street has evolved radically to suit the ever changing present. It remains the one show which help in tumultous and troubled times. Did you know the Israelis and the Palestinians merged their independent spin-offs of sesame street to help teach the fighting cultures to accept each other? Did you know sesame street did an episode on 9/11 to help children and families cope with the death of their loved ones? Did you know sesame street incorporated an HIV positive muppet to dispel the social stigmata of people with the disease? Americans reckon that sesame street played a big role in Barack Obama's election. Still there are rednecks who critisize the show and believe that sesame street should keep to PG13 rated stuff. These people have their priorities wrong. Life is not about living a double life of a teenage popstar or being in a band or fighting alien monsters in tight spandex outfits. Well, we don't want our kids to grow up faster than they need to, they say. But it's allright for 6 year olds to want to wear lipstick and wigs and expansive outfits. Fuck off, hypocrites.

If you grew up watching sesame street like me, you'll be pleased to know that the show is still going strong with its 4186th episode. I recently watched an episode and the theme song has changed to a slightly off-beat tune, no doubt to suit the ever changing music preference. And cookie monster now eats vegetables and fruits! Other than that, i was glad to see oscar is still as grumpy as ever, ernie still torments bert with his questions and grover is still a mummy's boy. I grew up reading a big sesame street red pictionary, from which i learnt my english words. Its now with my cousins who i doubt have touched it. Recently, i went shirt hunting with my friends and they all laughed at me when i wanted to buy a cookie monster t-shirt. haha. Its a reflection of how the times are a changing. Lisa Guernsley puts it perfectly when she said, "Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street? Of course. The more important question now is: can you tell me if Sesame Street will continue to get to us?"

twenty two

2009-11-03T23:28:00.002+08:00

twenty two is a good time to shave away some of the immaturity and acquire some pristine principles and self belief.

yeah right.

so i'm finally past being 'barely legal' to 'being legal' and now into pure adulthood. can't say i particularly revere at the very thought. being 21 was quite fun but at least i'm still on the better end of 20.

i was mostly sick on the days leading to my birthday. i mean who the hell falls sick on their birthday? "apparently you, you loser" said pei. i had this great plan of dragging people to watch the time traveller's wife with me on my birthday but it didn't quite materialise. it wasn't the best birthday obviously because i spent 50 percent of it in bed but thanks to some great people, it was unexpectedly quite a memorable one.

special thanks to huey jen, mark, manlo, eujhin,aku, amanda, cheryl, thomas and timothy for the well wrought up surprise party. i truly did not expect it. it was good to catch up with all of them. Having pizza+cake in manlo's apartment made me ruminate of the 12 am surprise parties where we would barge into people's apartment uninvited on their birthdays and sing. haha i remembered my act of self-immolation last year on red's birthday where i had to pretend to be emo so that he was distracted while everyone snuck into my room. It was strangly gratifying.

thanks to the all the bmed people for the late night session. I rather not go into details as i just found out my mother reads my blog. haha. I bet it was quite a night, though i don't remember much of it, through no fault of my own. And i do apologize for not staying back to clean up.

many thanks to those of you who took the trouble to sms me, especially the ones overseas! great to know you guys are still alive and well. and finally, big thank you (in no particular order) to minghui, chongbing, ben, hueyjen, manlo, mark, aku, waicheong, aman, thomas, cheryl, wesley, sinchin, robyn, eujhin, amanda, timothy, guanteck and chaoxui for the wonderful presents :)

wake me up when september ends

2009-10-28T01:14:00.008+08:00

The first draft of my thesis is up! Its time to blog again.

#1 So this is what the current semester 5 students do during pbl.. Discussing imu cup tactics and painting images of themselves with huge genitalia and big beer bellies. LOL. Thats me! in the blue circle! Fourth imu cup: two silvers for football and futsal, TWO free t-shirts and dozens of new friendships.

#2 Farah had this super open house for raya where she made this awesome prawn rolls+ lasagna+ nasi dagang+lontong. No wonder yonghow went crazy lah. yong how what were you doing! and quickly upload those deepavali photos too people..

#3 I've always taken pride in going for little-known movies and reveling when they turn out to be absolute gems. like 500 days of summer and 27 dresses. But i must admit, that the private lives of pippa lee was one movie i did not expect to be that bad. I mean, it had an all star cast: keanu reeves, winona ryder, julianne moore, blake lively, monica belluci. rotten tomatoes and herald tribune claimed it was a work of art. How was i supposed to know that the movie was plain awful? i had a sense of foreboding that i was going to get it from the other 10 throughout the painful 1 1/2 hour. i'm sorry kwan and hooi hooi for that wretched show on your birthdays. i guess i won't be picking movies in the near future =S.

#4 A few months ago i was bitching to minghui in the car about how miley cyrus totally ruined taylor's song during the Grammys. But either thanks to better song composers or technology enhancing voice programs, i must admit that party in the USA is third on my current most spammed songs. Only paparazzi (lady gaga's) and two is better than one (BLG feat taylor swift) beats it. I don't care what you think about her as a singer or about the lewd pictures online. As far as i'm concerned, its a catchy song and if she has the assets, she has to right to flaunt it.

they're back

2009-09-23T01:20:00.005+08:00

my beloved tree hill is back with its 7th season!

the rumours during the summer about Mark Schwann allowing the show to go on without Chad Michael Murray and Hillary Burton were unfortunately true. The picture says it all. Where once there were five, now three remain. Well, 'people always leave' in tree hill.

So i read that the new season is 1 year into the future and there will be new characters. i expect Austin Baker to step up. He would have to, since lucas isn't the main character anymore. I kinda liked Julian better than lucas towards the end of last season. Partly cause Julian was in the suave zone trying his best to thaw brooke while lucas was.. let's just say he got married.

It's sad knowing that the two actors who made the show what it once was is gone. Will tree hill work out without leyton? I hope so. It's gonna take a lot more to kill off my favourite series, that's for sure. There's bound to be more snippets of extremely good music, drama, exuberant quotes and banal lovey-dovey moments in store. And of course there's kate voegele to look forward to.

Rainy days

2009-09-20T00:29:00.002+08:00

It's been a refreshing change not having to spend ANY time anymore in the stinky animal facility. now i'm semi-bound to the research lab and the Multi Disciplinary lab. microtoming in the lab and then running up the elevators to stain the slides. reading while waiting for the slides to soak in the quiescent liquids in their quaint little glass jars. my perfect kind of busy.

its been raining too frequently for my liking. i can't get any exercise done. my lungs almost burst and the groin-hamstring i dunno what muscle gave way during soccer practice in the downpour on thursday. it rained again on friday when i set out for bible study. you'd think 21 years in the same country i'd have somewhat been acclimatized to the rainy season but the rain in Malaysia catches you offguard as if someone sneaked behind you and drenched you with a humongous bucket of water. it was all guys on friday! we had a cool session on the top floor. i had always been curious where that spiral staircase led to haha.

John 6:48-58. could see the potential for misguidance and misinterpretation. we saw how easily it was to get confused with the elements of the bread and wine, which are meant to be signs and symbols of Jesus's flesh and blood and how some people take it literally to be changed into the body and blood of christ through consecration. The point isn't to argue about the difference in ideology however but the fact that how these liturgical developments have diminished Christ's work on the cross. Lord, thank you for dying for us on the cross and may no one belittle or take that away from you.

Jerome shared on what he thought about CF camp and the 'revolution' taking place in IMU. He's striving to start bible study for the people who have came up to him after cf camp. i keep meeting uber passionate people lol. i prayed for him and i really hope that everything works out cause i know how it feels to be lost and searching. At this time last year, despite CF camp 2008 rekindling the hunger i found myself distant. At least september 2009, i am on track and rooted before i leave for warwick. Thanks Sarah, for your persistence.

taylor-ed to perfection

2009-09-11T12:01:00.004+08:00

i think i have a thing for blondes and the name taylor.

True Patrotism

2009-08-31T20:45:00.002+08:00

My last merdeka on malaysian soil before i touchdown on british shores. And what an abysmal turn of events which will undoubtedly leave a bitter trail of unpleasent memories to take away. In-fighting among party leaders, more corruption, futhur hikes in oil prices and perhaps a mutilated cow head or two. But i'm not here to dwindle on derelictions of duties or apparent imperviousness of certain thick-headed racist bastards. I would like to remember merdeka 2009 as the year when we are no longer graced by the presence, creativity and heartfelt works of Yasmin Ahmad.

As far as the past few turbulent years were concerned, we knew we could count on the Petronas adverts to instill that unwarranted feeling of togetherness come 31st August. For those of us whose school days are mere distant recollections, those ads serve as an important reminder of what used to be. I will be the first to raise my hand and admit that i do not keep in touch with any of my malay friends nor do i mingle often with any nowadays. Perhaps its the segregation through education or career path. Likewise, it is merdeka all right. Merdeka from other races. Crucially, this is exactly what Yasmin Ahmad brings to the table. She points out, rather bluntly through her works that this is a plague which is virulent. What does she get for her efforts? People slam her works and Kosmo has the audicity to say on the day of her passing that this was her judgement. (if only people would boycott utusan)

Hands up those of you who have watched Sepet, Gubra, Mukhsin or Talentime. My initial reaction to people who have not watched sepet is HAH? how can you not have watched it? We speak of patrotism too loosely. someone who waves the malaysian flag and stands while the negaraku is on air is patriotic. Do you want to know what i think of true patrotism? It is the courage to criticize what is not right with the country. Yasmin Ahmad saw the silliness which engulfed the different races. Which is why her works center round that common theme. Sepet is more than a love story. Tan Hong Ming in love is much more than a capture of the innoncence of a young schoolboy.

Najib is not a patriot. Neither is Ong Tee Kiat and his MCA goons. Definitely not Hishammudin after his keris wielding acts. But Yasmin Ahmad is one. A true patriot doesn’t rebel against the trappings of patriotism. A true patriot doesnt seek to embalm his image with false pretenses. By doing what she did, Yasmin Ahmad was open to abundance of critism. Why didn't her malay main characters try to convert their non muslim love interests? Why did she have to focus on the negativity of the social strata? Questions arose on her sexual identity. No matter how bad the hate-mongering from her critics, she would famously rescind it with ' we can only love'. Not every instance of critism should be met head on anyway and Yasmin Ahmad showed that wisdom is often gained in silence.

I obviously did not now Yasmin Ahmad. But i am grateful of what she has brought to our lives in what little time she had. i'm grateful that she made it her life's work to highlight how blinkered and xenophobic Malaysians can be. There aren't many patriots left. The prospect of a true Malaysian Malaysia( i refrain from 1 malaysia since no one knows what it actually means/represents) is admittedly remote. But we can build on the works of people like Yasmin Ahmad and now Pete Teo with his 15 Malaysia project.

This is a tribute to the wonderful person that is Yasmin Ahmad. My writings may not do her justice but may it add to the numerous eulogies to her name. RIP.

Rubbish Fucking Rubbish.

2009-08-19T17:02:00.003+08:00

i browsed through Tun Mahathir's blog and stumbled upon his recent entry of blasting the government's policy of reverting the teaching of science and maths in english. after reading his post, i acted upon my annoying habit of going through the first 20 comments shown on the same page. Which is when i saw this gem of a reply to Mahathir's post. Absofreakinlutely head banging stuff.

i know it looks long but i plead you to read it or at least the highlighted parts. Can vomit blood. Seriously.

Tun,
I beg to differ.
The first question that I would like to ask is, is the measure of personal, people or country's success depends on how good is the individual in that country command of English? If you say that is true,then we are still being mentally colonised by the West.
There is now a government funded body dealing in international researches and conferences, whose CEO and Chairman, continually praising his (perfect)English speaking staffs. One of whom is just a holder of diploma in secretarial course. BUT, are not able to carry out a simple task like drafting a letter. The actual works are carried out by degree and masters holders (all Malay)who can understand, read and write perfect letters in English, but prefer to communicate in Malay. And sadly continually being discriminated because of that.And I am sure this is not an isolated case, and almost always the people who get promoted at work are those who are able to converse with their bosses in perfect English and are able to be excused from doing work by saying them in perfect English. What is perfect English, anyway.
My second question is, there are 26 millions of us, do we need all 26 millions of us to be able to communicate in perfect English? Well I don't think I need to proceed further on this point.
I personally believed that English and Education are two separate entities. Let us dwell a bit on Education. Education is the content of what you learn. Now do not confuse this with Experience as experience is also a way of getting knowledge. With Education, we have a structured of way learning (syllabus). A teacher will teach his students by communication according to the syllabus. It does not matter how it is communicated as long as the content is delivered and properly understood. I am sure we have excellent teachers who can teach the students in the most excellence ways, except may be in English. Now it would be very unproductive to have this very knowledgeable teacher, but just because his/her only weakness is his/her inability to properly communicate in English thus unable to impart his/her knowledge to the students. Equally unproductive and more damaging is when the students are not able to grasp the contents of education just because we want to champion the English Language. Now lets us dwell a bit on English Language. Well, English is a language. It can be learned as a subject of learning, but I think that is secondary, it is used primarily as a communicating tool. Now as a subject of learning we learn it, but like any other subject, some are good at it some are not very good at it. If someone is not good at Maths, for example, we can accept it. But if someone is not good at English, suddenly to whole nation's reputation go down with it?
Before I am being labelled as anti English Language, I would like to make this point, to me it does not matter in what language the subject of science and mathematics is being taught, as long as what is being taught are properly understood. As I said earlier, some of us are not good in mathematics no matter what language it is being taught, don't go round making excuses because it is not taught in English.
Having said this, I also would like to give another thought on this issue. Previously when both subjects were taught in Bahasa Malaysia, even the terms (scientifc and mathematics) were also translated. Fluoride became Florida? (A state in USA) and Polystyreen became Polistrina? And a lot other terms too. I think this where our noble intention of Memperkasakan Bahasa Melayu got carried away. Imagine if a Malay conversation goes something like this, "ubat gigi seperti Colgate mengandungi fluoride," to any listeners it can be immediately understood that this person is talking about tooth paste containing fluoride, but if the person says, "ubat gigi seperti Colgate mengandungi Florida," a scholar from Mongolia would think this guy bought his toothpaste in Florida.
So what about the importance of English Language? It is important, so is Mathematics, Science, History, Geography and lots of other subjects of study.
For parents who are afraid they cannot send their children overseas because now Science and Mathematics are not taught in English, you are just making excuses. Since before the Independence a lot of would be ustaz or ulama made their way to University of Al Azhar to study Islam or to become Hafiz, not all of them know Arabic, they refused to make this as a problem and all of them came back with honours.
I sat for my Malaysian Certificate of Education (not SPM) in 1977. I did quite well but my English score was P6, I was offered to study in UK by the goverment which I took because I know, I can polish my English there. For parents, do not worry, if your children were given the opportunity to study overseas, take the opportunity, even if they were taught Science and Mathematics in Malay, Chinese or Tamil.
My conclusion is this, when it come to education it is WHAT being taught is the most important now HOW it is being taught. English Language is not the devine language, a lot of Pornographic materials are also written in English. Knowledge does not become less in value if it is not said in Enlish.
It is also true that a lot of technnolgical knowledge are written in English. Maybe we need a highly skilled translators to translate this knowlegde into our language, what is wrong with that, nothing. Maybe that is exactly what we need, so that the contents are not lost in translation, instead of all of us trying discern what is being taught and everyone of us came up with different understandings due to lack of understanding. Not all of us are proficient in English, Mathematics and Science. We can be good in Mathematics but not English, we are still good. And vice versa, we are still good.
Lets keep the proficency in English Language on the need basis. A salesperson at Jalan Masjid India do not need to know Calculus in English. A receptionist in an international company must be be able to speak English, send that person to school for English language. A mathematics genius taught in Malay is still a mathematics genius. If that mathematics genius thinks he/she needs English for whatever purpose, he/she will learn it then.
Last but not least, a true story, a group of important visitors from USA were invited to come to Malaysia to have an insight on Malaysian life. They were in a van enroute to Putrajaya to meet some Ministers accompanied by a Malay officer acting as a host. It was quite a long journey from KL, and the officer made small chat with the Malay driver. One of the important visitor was offended and remarked, "it is very rude if you have important visitors like us to come here and you did not speak English when you talk among yourselves." Now if the situation were reversed, some important Malay visitors invited to US and were in a van hosted by an American officer. Do you think he would conversed in Malay when he talk to his American driver? Infact it would be very rude if the Malay visitors speak Malay in that van.
Thank you.

now my dear deluded fellow Malaysian, unlike you, i do not wish to remain in the throngs of despair of continuously being inferior. While you may see fit to happily remain in your comfort zone where everything should be nice and dandy, WE have made it our priority to fight for what we want since day 1.

U say that workers who are malays who can understand read and write english perfectly are discriminated? What country are you living in? because you're sure as hell not living in the same country as me. Furthurmore while you deem the situation of surviving the lingo after being sent overseas for tertiary education a problem, our main concern is summoning enough money to GET THERE.

If no one has pointed out the ridiculous ideas you propose (which as of 18 august there have been no posts), then let me enlighten you further.You propose the help of highly skilled translators to translate english terms into BM to AVOID ANY LOSSES IN TRANSLATION. My dear, to avoid any losses in translation, you shouldnt translate it in the first place. Therefore, the best thing to do would be to learn the initial language.

Lastly, your perceived analogy of how you think BM has fallen from grace as compared to english is interesting, but with a HERCULEAN flaw. That is not what the story is trying to imply you idiot. The foreign officer was stating the fact that it is indeed rude to speak a language in front of people who do not understand it. Vice verca, in the US, it WOULD be rude to speak malay in the van not because malay is an inferior language but because no one else understands it. Sigh, the same would apply for any other language for that matter.

august

2009-08-06T17:08:00.003+08:00

There are multiple drafts lounging in my blogger dashboard. Unfinished and abandoned. The truth is I am too stressed out and preoccupied by current conundrums of rats, drugs and thesis writing. I have a quaint little tribute in my mind to Yasmin Ahmad and a nice little detailed post on my trip to ipoh and taman negara waiting to be finished. I just can't be bothered right now.

The purpose of this post is purely to rant my frustrations and resuscitate my blog from its derogatoriness. Hopefully my rat issues are sorted out soon enough and my thesis writing are on track. Then i can devote my time to reviving this blog.

I'm turning into a social recluse. Help! I don't like to go out anymore. There's not a day that i don't doubt my ability to finish wording that 10,000 words. There's not a day that i don't have to smell the scent of a dead rodent. There's not a day that i don't have to endure the bloody abominations spewing their excrement all over my hand and wiping after them. I haven't slept in on weekends since April! I'm desperately clinging on to what's left of my sanity by watching how i met your mother and the big bang theory.

I'm going to meet my supervisors on monday to discuss how to proceed on my project. Yep, my rats died again. I want to watch GI Joe and The Proposal. Anyone??

"siasat siasat siasat !!"

2009-07-18T00:19:00.003+08:00

i've restrained myself from blogging about the ludicrous happenings in our country for quite a while now but i guess enough is enough. I was PISSED about THIS, THIS and now THIS and THIS!

I'm sure everyone knows how i stand on the PPSMI issue and it would be pointless to reiterate my views. The matter has already been concluded by the scatterbrains of the nation, once again non conforming to the general opinion of the public. As far as PPSMI is concerned, unfortunately, i feel the notion is done, dusted and gone for good.

Then there's the issue of hiking the price of public transport. Are you people daft or what???! This is so going to coerce people to choose public transportation. Wow. Do they realise that they are indirectly inflating the public transport sector by increasing work permits(i.e. more taxi drivers on the road) and the very high possibility of the reduction in demand due to the fare increment? They simply don't think.

I swear the original idea was a post filled with a tirade of F words, blasting the morality of this nation, questioning the justice of this beleaguering country that a murderer can sit in the highest office, a legal system oblivious to the fact that a minister is getting away with corruption in the highest decree and the death of an innocent political secretary not long after he was unfairly detained till the wee hours. Declaring that what little shred of respect for the government had been lost.

But as i was reminded in church a few hours ago, that the people of Malachi asked the very same question: Where is the God of justice? To them, God replied: And i will come near you for judgement, i will be a swift witness, against sorcerers, adulterers, perjurers, those who exploit wage earners and widows and orphans, and against those who turn away and alien because they do not fear me.

Reign while you can in your little offices, counting the stacks of filthy money, most likely raising a glass or two, thinking once again that your little schemes have gotten you scott free and pulled another over the public. You have eternity to regret all your doings. Then again, maybe you never will.

Verse of the day: Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator.
-1 Peter 4:19

the epistle of anthony

2009-07-11T23:55:00.008+08:00

(purely fictional, meant solely for humor and any insults taken personally while reading is unintentional and deeply regrettable)

I, Joon Heng, a volunteer follower of a higher power of his own choosing, by the cosmic coincidences of the universe, write to the community of fellow Bmed Science students of I1/09 who ascribe to the membership of the fellowship of our 'god' Anthony Stanislaus.

Praise Anthony for he is good. He is the shepherd of all researchers, we shall not want. In him, all things are possible. You shall remember that it is he who renders us free beakers, eppendorf tube holders and countless glass bottles, sacrificing his needs before the well being of others. His grace is evident in such abundance that from the entrance of the lab on the first floor to the other exit leading to the lift, there will not be room enough for the 12 of us to receive it.

The Lord Anthony is perfect in grace, in wisdom, knowledge, justice and in all that he does. His perfection is infinite. Thus, he demands the same perfection from his people. For we are mere mortals, we are blinded by our imperfections and regard fellow mortals as beautiful. "Really cannot make it. Eyes not nice. Nose too big la", dictates the Lord Anthony. Do not be taken aback if our 'god' Anthony rebukes your choice as ugly or rates him/her negative over ten because remember that 'god' Anthony is perfect and not even the possibility of imperfection can be comprehended and associated with our 'god'.

Do not argue with 'god' in vain, for he is always right. Surrender to the supremacy of the logic of Lord Anthony for we mere mortals are never on par with his wisdom. 'No,' begins the Lord Anthony in response to each opinion we proffer. Meekly retract for we hath not the stamina nor the intellectual capability to match him for his thoughts are not our thoughts and his ways are not our ways. For his thoughts are higher than our thoughts and his ways are higher than our ways.

Rejoice my dear brethren of I1/09 for we have a great 'god'. let us show our affection by offerings of 'Kambing' to the Lord Anthony. "Try the Nasi Goreng Kambing""The Mutton Curry here is damn good"" In Klang there's this place with superb kambing" says the lord Anthony. Finally, i bid farewell, be of good comfort, live in peace and may the benediction of the 'god' Anthony be with you as you depart from here.

p.s. this is an inside joke. i was too bored. haha.

talk about bizzare

2009-07-04T22:10:00.003+08:00

EVEN Michael Owen can't believe he's a ManUtd player. well, stranger things have happened in the world of football i suppose...

I hate to point out the obvious but this is turning out to be a summer of strange proportions for manyoo. first, we sold arguably our best player and replaced him with the best player from...*drumroll* ...WIGAN!

Second,we've got Mickey here for free. Just for the heck of it, to all the Liverpool diehards, we've got your legend for a staggering "£0". The Law of Returning Players, baby!!!! To all you girls out there who used to swoon at Michael Owen and cursed Man Utd, isn't Karma a real bitch?

Thirdly, have you seen the new Manyoo jersey? Words fail me. Thanks to Nike's brilliant design, we'll be seeing 10 Ultramans running all over old trafford trying to score a goal.

My tribute to Michael Jackson

2009-06-27T22:03:00.004+08:00

The funny thing about Michael Jackson's death is that this tragedy pales in comparison to the tragedy of his life. Our generation grew up knowing him as the wierdo who underwent three decades of plastic surgery, the serial molester, pedophile who bought Neverland as the perfect lair for his extra-curricular activities, the rancid rogue who fed kids with alcohol and coined it 'Jesus Juice'. My earliest memory of Michael Jackson was already of the period when there were rumours that his nose was falling out.

And yet, for those like our parents, who were around to see the king of pop strut his stuff, they will tell you that this was a man who dominated the 80s and created best selling albums after best selling albums. His fans will tell you how easy it was to overlook the last decade of self destruction and self mutilation once his songs were played over the radio. He was indeed songwriter extraordinaire. A singer who cut across all boundaries of taste and style and color.

Its immensely difficult not to find anyone who has no pure recollections of Michael Jackson's music in their life. Even I, a 1987 baby, born into arguably the era which MJ started his decline, have memories which involve his music. In my last year in kindergarden, my class put on a play at the end of the school term involving recycling and saving the environment. The chosen song was heal the world.

People have recently touted that MJ was on the comeback trail after agreeing to appear in several concerts across london. For many of his loyal fans, it was devastating that the heart of the icon of soul music should let him down at this pivotal moment of his life. Had he survived the arrest, could the crown prince cum clown prince have risen again? Was it possible that MJ had it in him to reclaim his legacy and perhaps recapture fame for the right reasons? While the world might see it differently, judging from the responses from celebrities and folks, the repertoire of his songs(especially on hitz.fm which played only MJ songs all day) the buzzing of headlines around the world and yes, the tweets, i would think his comeback complete.

R.I.P MJ. No doubt, you're performing on the biggest stage of them all now.

Miss Communication

2009-06-20T23:32:00.003+08:00

It happened while i was meandering along the aisle.

Picture perfect from the tiny speck on her auburn hair to her free flowing scarf wrapped around that cute little frame. She sauntered up to me and flashed a jaw dropping alba-ish smile. Faking debonair while fidgeting diffidently inside, i explained my intent in plain simple english. I waited as she nod knowingly.

Alas, her lips parted and answered me in the unmistakable mother tongue. I deflated faster than a helium hot air balloon.
sigh.

Keeping faith

2009-06-11T01:42:00.002+08:00

With most of my time now spent at home, and the 10 season of friends now behind me, i decided to engross myself with a good read. I wanted to stray away from the Jeffrey Archer, Dan Brown mold but i was looking for something deeper than a chic lit. Investing in new authors is always a risk, because i have the tendency to chuck the book to the furthest corners of my cabinet and allow the pages to turn yellow should the first few chapters fail to interest me. I had little idea on what i would enjoy but i gave Jodi Picoult a try based on taylai's recommendation a while back.

So here i was, being the usual skeptic, opening the first few pages about a mother slipping into depression because her husband has cheated on her for the second time. Before i know it, i'm consciously turning the pages, unable to put the book down as Jodi Picould brings Faith, the little girl caught in the turmoil of her parent's divorce, to the attention of the reader. She develops her character with such gusto that we tacitly accept that the only explanation for a 7 year old Jewish child with no prior religious education whatsoever being able to spout verses out of the bible and perform miraculous healing acts is down to her ability to see God.

Sounds corny, melodramatic, and completely over the top, right? ridiculously cheesy on the outset?. yes, i recognized the blatant use of the pun "faith" in the title too. and yet somehow, i assure you this is one hell of a page turner. The only explanation I have for someone who can take a schmaltzy story and turn it into an amazingly engrossing read is that she is an immensely good writer. Be sure to look out for this book if you haven't read it.

freedom 09 and seremban sleepover

2009-06-07T15:37:00.008+08:00

hello world! hope you're listening. (reading, skimming, whatever)

greetings once again from me! I realised i've posted nothing but lame movie reviews and have been moping on MU's loss. but i'm rejuvenated, alive and well.My research has finally begun. Don't ask me what I'm researching on if you meet me. Believe me, i would love to answer: Studies on the neuroprotective effect of alpha lipoic acid on haloperidol induced oxidative stress.

but the next thing you're likely to ask me will be something in the range of what's alpha lipoic acid or what's haloperidol to which i will proceed to ramble incoherent words which will bore you to death. so, unless you're prepared for a pharmaco pep talk, do us both a favour and lets not go there.

Ask me how my rats are instead. yeap, i'm currently in possesion of 10 albino rats which i feed orally daily. I go to IMU without fail every morning to weigh my babies and coerce a metal feeding tube down their esophagus. i'm blessed with good, kuai rats that rarely give me trouble. i've even gotten used to the unbelievable stench in the animal holding facility and the feeding thing is now lapsing into a daily routine. today's the 7th day. another 14 days to go and i'll be done with group 1.

pictures from freedom rave in A famosa resort and the trip down to seremban when red came back from adelaide.
ming hui giving a thumbs up to anthony's place

anthony pouring gallons of whisky for everyone and trying to escape. He drank the most in the end. haha.
anthony on the mission to get jian min to drink and thus shift the attention away from him
after we were perfectly pumped up, we rushed to the rave.....FREEDOMMM!!!
Chongbing and Yannee went on the huge euro wheel...
and paid the price. HAHAHA
jian min lost his phone before he came and left malacca with a brand new phone which he won. sweet.

sigh

2009-05-28T21:40:00.004+08:00

i guess we can take comfort in the fact that barca are indeed THE best team in europe right now and being outclassed by a strikeforce of messi-eto-henry-xavi-iniesta is nothing to be ashamed of.
perhaps this is a wake up call for many who were too proud to admit that it would take much more than this year's performances for this young united team to win back to back Champion League trophies considering it has never been done before.

Kudos to Barcelona for being humble in victory as they showed with the guard of honour when united players walked up to receive their runner's up medals.
Kudos to Fergie for being gracious in defeat(take a hint benitez) and Rooney for acknowledging Iniesta as the Man of the Match.

We'll be back soon, if not next year.

Rome, here we come

2009-05-26T22:19:00.004+08:00

"Memories are made of this forever and a day. United fans will ask, where did you watch the 1999 Champions League final, where did you see Ole Solskjaer win it with virtually the last kick of the game? 50 000 or so will be able to say, I WAS THERE!

---Clive Tyldesley's unforgettable commentary from the Nou Camp.

huddled at the back seat, waiting for my mum to get into the car, i turned the radio on, eager to intercept the morning news. or more importantly the result from last night's champions league. And then it was announced that united had won. words like miraculous comeback,the treble, 2-1, spewed from the set, and suddenly the sweating, the uncomfortable tie and bloody ridiculous long sleeved blue shirt didn't matter anymore. Suddenly, i was pumping my fists towards the car roof and jumping up and down on the car seat shouting my 12 year old acquired profanities in the hopefully rather soundproof vicinity of the closed vehicle.
I remember racing towards the school gate and the first familiar face i saw was Hijaz walking slowly from the other direction. His face was lit up like a megawatt bulb, he was holding up his 3 fingers and kept repeating 'Treble, man!!'

Where did I watch the 1999 final? well, on youtube, parts of it. Those were the pre-Astro days and we could never count on RTM which would show vapid malay shows which no one watches instead.

i had to wait 9 long years before ManUtd reached their next final. This time, i wasn't going to let an 8am lecture or PBL get in the way. We all know what happened. With ManUtd, they may be down and looking to go out, but they are never out. I remember when John Terry slipped on that rainy pitch in Moscow, when the ball ricocheted off the left goalpost, Chun loo, Lester, Anthony and I suddenly found our arms and bodies intermingled with each other. "It was very gay lah!" as ah loo fittingly described later. The great gay Champions League hug was a great Champions League moment.

I have to be up at 8am to feed my rats on thursday. Get enough rest and miss the match? Miss out on a potential CL moment? Not on your life. Last Sunday, Pastor Robin was telling me of this guy who would come to church dressed wholly in ManUtd attire so that he could go straight to watch the match after church. And he asked me if i was as addicted. "No la, i'm not that crazy'.

I wasn't being totally honest. I live for these moments. I am united through and through.

Drama drama

2009-05-23T12:39:00.006+08:00

I guess the biggest question for America is 'HOW on earth did Adam Lambert NOT WIN?'

I want to say that we all saw this coming, that this isn't the first time the dark horse galloped past the prancing show pony,or that Americans are notorious for being horrible voters. The latter being irrefutably accurate when you wonder who in their right minds would vote George Bush into office and keep him there for another term.

I want to say that this reverberates the moments throughout the years when America constantly deny us the pleasure of seeing our favourites winning the crown they so rightly deserve. I want to say that Adam Lambert is no different from Jennifer Hudson, Latoya London, Bo Bice, Chris Daughtry, Elliot Yamin or Melinda Doolittle.

But no. the plain truth is that he dominated the season like no other before him. Whether you love him for his vocals, his ability to hit the high notes, his good looks or hate him for his over-the-top performances and signature screeching, you have to admit that he was one class above the rest of the other finalists. Even the unsparingly blunt Simon Cowell gave this guy a standing ovation when he sang Mad World for the first time. Tell me when has that EVER happen? It was always going to be Adam Lambert and someone else in the final two and heck, before America casted their votes, the real mystery was always going to be the person accompanying Adam to the final, not who was going to win it.

A victim of his own hype? i refuse to accept that. I believe he can and will put out a great rock album and show America what a bunch of looneys they really are.

I read that Simon will leave the show if AI fails to keep it's spot as US's most watched TV reality show. AI without Simon Cowell? Randy, Kara and Paula? snorts. I think i'll switch to BGT if that happens. at least we get to see stuff like this:

p/s: susan boyle, aka the woman who shut simon cowell up, i salute you. you are truly amazing!

spanar in the works

2009-04-18T22:50:00.002+08:00

My favorite couple by a mile. Beth is so Rachel, i wondered if I was watching friends a couple of times during the movie. I've always loved how Jennifer Aniston plays forlorn characters because disagree with me all you want, she has that genuine doleful look. The fact that she doesn't take on greater roles really baffles me. Her on-screen other half, Ben Affleck really REALLY swoons with his character as Neil. I'm a guy and i went all soft with the rest of the girls in the cinema during the kitchen scene and when he went down on one knee.

Well, the misogynistic yet rather thoughtful romantic comedy was the best thing all week.
my sim card decided to go on strike and now i'm stuck with a digi prepaid number.

i went all the way to uni to meet my supervisors for 1 minute. They seem totally clueless. SHIT.

During my literature search, I found a paper which is almost identical to my research. Which actually means that my research is totally useless.

I had a cockroach fright yesterday. It was horrible.

depressed.

I'm taking a bloody hiatus. can't seem to get inspired and kim says my latest posts are boring. Disgusted with myself.

Thanks guys.

i hate babi i just love bak kut teh

2009-04-14T16:09:00.005+08:00

"He denied calling the Chinese ungrateful. The DPM claimed what he had said was that the Chinese were unappreciative."
- themalaysianinsider.com

hey remember when they taught us in school that synonyms were words which have the same meaning? well, apparently we were taught wrong. According to the official english dictionary of the Malaysian parliament, synonyms are words which we use to cover up senseless 'OMG-I-SHOULDNT-HAVE-SAID-THAT statements so that the world wouldn't think we f-ked up.
see? Now ungrateful is a world of difference from unappreciative. Doesn't that totally makes sense?
Oh yeah, now i can say that our DPM is not stupid. He's just thick. Awesome! I love this new english.

(pics from last night dinner at ss14)
i never knew there was dry bak kut teh!
guess i better eat all the bak kut teh i can get. no you silly. not because i'm going to be away. now that our 6th crime minister is officially sworn in, who's stopping him from using C-4 on all the pigs.
and for the record i love pork. just couldn't resist the new english.

prezzie, shouts and news from nottingham

2009-04-09T00:01:00.003+08:00

Score when i went to bed last night at 89th minute: 2-1
Score when i woke up this morning : 2-2

Research talk as of last night: talk on grant. Bmed students required to attend.
Research talk as of 9.30 am: bore no significance whatsoever with Bmed Sc.

Time arrived at IMU: 9.30
Time left IMU: 10.30
Toll: rm 6.60

was too tired to be pissed. went back home, fell asleep in the living room until THIS arrived in the mail.

turned it over and saw it was from Teck Jian in nottingham!

curiosity peaking, i furiously tore open the parcel(that's why it looks so tattered and decrepit)

there was a letter! which i will show the Bmed folks tomorrow. The gist of it is that the notts people are doing swell and basically hanging out at matthew and jimmy's place playing dota and practicing OSCE.

ANDDD there was this small other thing of A MAN UTD SHIRT! which teck jian got for me while they were visiting manchester! you won't believe how 'over-the-top-with-joy' i am right now. hahaha. And immensely grateful how the parcel arrived on the day when i was uber down. Sheer luck or coincidence?

p.s.: now that i have their addresses in notts, prolly mail something malaysian to them. im thinking kwan's noni fruit extract, soohan's placentas, kim's snake venom and all the rats i have at my disposal. heh heh heh...

they don't call it the theater of dreams for nothing

2009-04-06T11:42:00.003+08:00

played without at least 7 of our first team players (rooney, berbatov, scholes, park, ferdinand, vidic, rafael), ending(winning) the game with 17 and 18 year old strikers, letting villa torment the makeshift defence and still survive.

Makaeda. Remember the name! How important is that winning goal in the title race?

Liverpool, ARE YOU WATCHING? guess you guys aren't the only one who can win it late eh?

Confessions of a shopaholic.

2009-03-31T21:02:00.002+08:00

I was 16 when i came across the name Sophie Kinsella. I don't remember whose book it was, but i remember vividly pooh-poohing and snorting at my friend when i read the back cover of 'Can you keep a secret?' Honestly, if i had known myself back then, i probably would have smacked myself silly for the instantaneous disregard of what i deem now as one of the best chic-lit authors in the business.

Secretly, i've been longing ever so much to watch the movie but not everyone shares similar movie sentiments. And i have sheahlin to thank for persistently calling even though i initially said i was too tired. I'm really glad that i went.

From the opening scenes when we met Rebecca Bloomwood as a child, scarred for life by her brown shoes and mother's thrifty spending, i loved it. You can tell the film is nothing short of fabulous with its frothy self and confident swagger that everything is perfectly matched and ironed out. A cleverly constructed catwalk of comedy, the movie has turned out to be everything the book would have transcribed it to be.

Partly why i loved the movie so much is how Isla Fisher plays the role of the blissfully clothes-crazy Becky. Remember how she played April in Definitely Maybe? She has that same adorable magnetism, with eyes that widen like a naughty child's and a smile so vivacious it could light up the next three rooms. Breathless and petite yet powerfully in-your-face kind of attitude, Fisher has that rare gift of turning boisterous forms of comedy into class and she pulls of her ditsy character with combined dizzy femininity and no-nonsense verve.

And yes, while the females are shrieking(they seem to do that in every chick lit movie i go to) for Hugh Dancy aka Luke Brandon, i have to say that his Armani smoothness compliments wholly the silky flounce of Fisher! Not since James Marsden and Katherine Heigl wowed us in 27 dresses has there been chemistry worth noting on the big screen.

Confessions of a shopaholic is nothing short of a pleasure to watch. From Becky merely teetering down the street on impossibly high heels, to the hilarious tango wielding a lethal fan, to the intentional hideous taste in clothes, to the talking mannequins to the 'aww' moment when she finds out that both bidders were actually him, this movie is purely chick flick fizz, but it's fizz that bubbles like a champagne. Move over SATC or Bridget Jones, like the mannequins, shopaholic, i applaud you.

a statement worth making

2009-03-28T21:14:00.003+08:00

global warming or no global warming. myth or not. gimmick or honest awareness. it doesn't matter. switching off your lights for 1 hour may or may not go a long way in actually helping the cause of global warming. The important thing is the conscience of choosing the Earth over convenience.

Vote Earth. May more join the cause next year.

xilence

2009-03-28T01:16:00.006+08:00

raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens

its been 2 years,huh? feels like another time and another place. one moment you're those tiny little sprigs and before you know it, 4 other sems has arrived out of nowhere. We've been there, done that haha. Good luck with EOS guys and thank you all so much for the memories.

nibbles

2009-03-21T21:50:00.007+08:00

A high school friend of mine recently accepted Christ and told me about it online. I was pleasantly surprised because i actually thought he was one of those 'immovables' in the past. Just as the good news led me to believe that i was witnessing one of the many miracles the Lord has worked in lives around me, like a snarly rodent trap, it sprung on me. He was subtly implying to me that he was coerced into his evangelism program and had to find people to share with. A task he was 'talked into' quote verbatim.

A tiny tinge of dissent slashed across at that particular point of conversation. A dab of regret towards the people whom we label as Christians. This is not the first nor will it be the last of ongoing stories which stirs unrest in me. Tales of grandfathers, uncles,family members being baptized without even understanding its significance. The eagerness of bringing someone to Christ should be complimented, but is it still free will when the aggression and (annoying) persistence has played even the most minute of roles? I've learnt that it always take 0% of the sharer and 100% of the holy spirit to touch someone. But can it be said true for each and every Christian evangelism?

'Hey, if i i'm not a Christian, i'm definitely going to hell?'
'My grandparents and great-grandparent's from China weren't Christians. I doubt they were educated enough to read the bible and thus weren't saved. Does that mean that they are all in hell? Is that fair?'
When faced with this question posed by many people, i refrain from answering. The truth is that this is one part of Christianity which i struggle to come to terms with. You see, the bible doesn't offer you a package deal which says that if you believe in Christ, you get to take your family members with you. No,the bible is exceptionally clear on this one.

The honest truth is that this quandary which is not even an issue for people born in Christian families is like a thorn. the bane of my faith. Being a Christian means surrendering yourself whole-heartedly to God and taking His word as the absolute truth. Being a Christian is not about being able to pick and choose texts from the bible to practice. A Christian in my opinion doesn't nibble the juicy parts of the bible which suits him/her. Rather a Christian is a person who takes every word and follows them obediently. I ask myself everyday, how can i ever fully be one when i cannot accept or face that part of the bible?

Reflecting and pondering but who to turn to? I know i musn't judge when i am far from perfect myself. It is true that philosophers often state their surprise at how many people still believe in God. They conclude that in most cases, people just don't think about it that much; for thinking about religion is the surest way to atheism. After everything that has been said and done, i ask myself why do i still bother?
I realize that it is faith in His existence that urges me to find the answers to my questions.

Phase 1.5

2009-03-15T22:20:00.005+08:00

It's the 3rd week of Bmed Science now. I'm officially bored beyond belief. Definitely deserve merit points for diligently turning up for seemingly insignificant lectures which gets canceled every now and then. or a medal of stupidity when the only people who attend more classes than me are evelyn and adeline.And we three live the furthest from IMU.
I'm tired of the constant lack of routine, the daily perpetual abyss-like feeling after class with nothing to look forward to. I'm sick of Bmed, though its just been 3 weeks. I must admit i had envisaged myself as more resilient but scanning journal after journal can drive one nuts.
I'm drowning in the sea of sloth, heaping on self pity. I desperately miss the batch. The batch picture during the seremban guys' performance left an emo chord somewhere. While everyone is moving on with phase 2, it feels hollow being stuck here. but at the end of the day, got to keep reminding myself that it'll be over soon enough and who knows, something good may be around the corner.

Few pics of shots i took last saturday.

that's noni fruit. looks like a cross-breed between a potato and a caterpillar.

and that's Kwan illegally harvesting the fruits from the noni tree in shah alam.

haha. The only good thing so far is that the course has fine tuned my biological clock. I go to sleep at 12+ now. insomnia free and i wake up at 7 every morning. first time in years. =)

Save the Malay Language!

2009-03-08T00:00:00.007+08:00

Fellow Malaysians! The end is nigh! The time has come for you to show national loyalty by gathering in multitudes to bring down the filthy language of the white invaders. Yes! 52 years on and we still bitterly resent the pale faces. Bahasa Inggeris ialah bahasa penjajah!. let us not taint our sovereignty by allowing this ignominious policy to continue any furthur. The policy of teaching science and maths in english MUST be abolished!

Let's blame it on the ex-PM. It was his idea anyway. Now that he has vacated Putrajaya and is public UMNO enemy number 1, it makes perfect sense that the rakyat will flock and pledge their support if we put it as reason number one on the brouchure. Better still, let us make this a multiracial anti-english demonstration by letting the whole world know that kaum cina pun menentang PPSMI(the chinese are also against the teaching of science and maths in english). Who cares about the chinese who aren't? They'll just keep quiet and accept whatever that's thrown at them because they never want to get involved.

Never mind the fact that english is used as the language of choice in tertiary education globally. So what if our scholars struggle overseas because they are ill-equipped with the language sense? it doesn't matter if we scrape that obvious advantage in learning science and maths in english early on because our NATIONAL IDENTITY is under threat! yeap. Its not enough that history, geography, moral, accounts, econs are still being taught in malay. nor sir. remember one of the first pepatah we were taught in standard one? kerana setitik nila, rosak susu sebelanga. we should not compromise any longer! the thought of our bahasa ibunda vicariously substituted by english, although mostly out of paranoia is UNTHINKABLE! unacceptable.

As it is, our children are suffering because its impossible for them to learn in english because we converse at home in malay. I wonder how the other races did it in the past because i'm pretty sure they don't speak malay at home. Oh dear, my children's future will be affected because they will be at a disadvantage. What if they're as lazy as I am and just give up at the mere prospect of studying in such precarious conditions? No, no. this is not right. i want my children to succeed and go on to do professional courses which will be in .......

Who cares that having taken a step forward in education, we will be taking two steps backwards if we revert back to science and maths in BM? Anyone who dares challenge us will fall short because we have the trump card. Our grandfathers have pledged to preserve our national language as written in the constitution and whoever digress, will have the ISA on their backs. That itsy tiny fraction of a sentence in the malaysian constitution is the smartest thing we've ever came up with! So my fellow Malayians, i shall see you outside the palace. It is time we claim back what is rightfully ours! I am sure the sultans will help us as the perak sultan did with the power struggle in perak. Is this another political gimmick? How dare you even suggest that. We are sincerely concerned for the well-being of our country's national language. What's that i hear about this being a cover up for our ineptitude? LIES! Can't you see that PPSMI is humiliating the essence of our culture and that we should all chip in to restore the malay language from its infirmities?

My blood boils...

the green muppet who lives in a trash can on sesame street

2009-02-22T22:53:00.002+08:00

There isn't the trifling assembly before the school bell rings at 8am nor is there imperative classes at B25 or C4 when the sky is pitch black and the street lamps are still functioning. There is no mad rush up the escalators with the hope that every lecturer, like dr Vishna, stop by the canteen on their way up, fading, with the absence of familiar booming chatter. No CSU to contend with nor the quagmire of being late for early morning PBLs.

For the first time in my life, there isn't a veritable obstacle for me to loftily park my bottom on the sofa with pizza flavored broad beans at 9 tomorrow morning to usher in the 81st ACADEMY AWARDS!!!! oh boy, am i looking forward to some red carpet glitz or what.

As usual, due to Malaysia's baffling choices of movies to hit the big screen, we once again are plunged into obscurity when it comes to opining on the nominees. Victims to blockbuster frenzy, we welcome hideous acts like the punisher, house, and pink panther 2 when little known gems like milk, the reader, frost/nixon and the wrestler escape our shores. One thing is certain though. I would be very much surprised if a dead joker, an old wistful baby and an Indian slum cum millionaire walk away empty handed.

penang: an epicurean delight

2009-02-19T16:21:00.006+08:00

i flew, yes flew, thanks to Air Asia cheap budget tickets, to the land of char keuy tiao and kuey tiao theng. Very much spent and beat upon arriving at 8 AM, we wasted no time in getting thick into the action.i appeased my gustatory deprivations by diving mouth first into the saporous, spicy CURRY MEE. the crunchy juicy taugeh, the rich santan, the succulent siham! Would you look at the size of the freaking prawns!

THAT was merely the beginning.
We woke up each day to the smell of lustful Char Kuey Kak and sip the delectable Kuey Teow Theng before making out with piquant pasembur, orh chien, popiah, orh keh and chai keh during lunchtime.

Then, sapid Asam Laksa, Loh Mee, Ikan Bakar and HONEY COATED CHICKEN WINGS for dinner and supper to complete a simply awesome day of doing nothing but eat and eat and eat some more. what a way to spend our perfect chill-out holiday!

ok.it wasn't all about the ambrosial food. obviously we lai penang si chiak la. but we did other things too. can't really remember what happened exactly in order and i'm tired. so i'll list things randomly as i go.. woohoo.

1.Being impeccable medical students,we realise the importance of liberating our arteries from potential clogs from all the previous pigging out sessions. So... we took a hike in the botanical gardens! SERIOUSLY! Except that Chui Yen ran eagerly to the ice cream stand before we even began to hike and Amanda nearly bit our heads off when we thought of taking the longer route. So much for exercising haha.

2.I discovered the art or more likely the addictive prowess that Mahjong has to offer. We would sit in Amanda's hall for hours just staring at the white tiles and the only sound audible would be the rather irritating shuffling of tiles. Then, PONG here PONG there until someone 'Hu's, groans, and suddenly it is no longer monosyllable dialogues.

3.We were all enlightened on Rufah's bathing habits.

4.We found the CHEAPEST arcade in the world. For 4 ringgit, you can play all you want for an hour! Fancy that! I was so engrossed with the basketball thing that i just stood there alone shooting until i was dragged away to play daytona.

5.Back to food. Jian Min stumbled upon ambra/umbela/ambela. Does anybody actually know the correct spelling of this thing?

6.We've all heard about the notorious penang driving. But did you know another annoying trait? Its a despicable mainland Chinese culture called CUTTING THE QUEUE.there i was being the civil and well mannered guy from subang, taking the trouble to line up to buy the lovely yam cake on display when these aunties just barged at the head of the queue and shouted their order. unbelievable. so disgusted that the hawker layaned them that i just left. everyone laughed at me at said that was the way to do it. sheesh.

7.Found out that Kah Weng could suck Balitongs the hardest and loudest! they're those little spiral snail like seafood we had for our last dinner in penang.

8.Penang Hawkers have big egos and very little common sense. We came across 2 stalls selling the same cendol and exact similar drinks right across each other. i mean, i didn't take economics in school but shouldn't one of them be able to swallow their pride and move to a better location rather than competing for the profits?

9.Kim: auntie, Seng Kak Teh Zhi Buey
Auntie: Seng Kak Teh Boh! *hand gesture and walk away*

10.I bought the ENTIRE 10 seasons of friends. it'll be FRIENDS marathon all the way through the hols hahaa.

i start on monday =(
the pics arent mine. i really should start taking my own pics.
if there's any penang moments i missed, let me know.

i left my grammar at home with my granpa

2009-02-07T14:29:00.003+08:00

further proof that English is going down the drain

I'm rather ashamed that this email came from the alumni. can you spot the horrors?

We are calling ambitious, committed, forward looking and talented IMU Graduate to be the IMU Alumni Office Bearer for the year 2009-2010.

Positions for nomination in the Executive Committee of the IMU Alumni include President, Vice President, Secretary, Assistant Secretary, Treasurer and at least five (5) Ordinary Committee members. The term of service as committee members will be from date of announcement to 31st January 2010 (about 2 years).

All IMU graduates and alumni in situ have the right to be the nominators, candidates and voters. You are free to nominate yourself, or other caliber individual.

The nomination process is incredibly straightforward. Just complete and send the nomination form provided
Entries are now being accepted for nominations and the closing deadline will be 1st March 2009.

The nomination is confidential. To avoid possible disappointment, please do not advise nominee in any way of your action in his or her behalf. In nominating and voting for the committee, we would like to advise you to take into account the need to have both genders represented on IMU alumni committees.

What happened after nomination?

All candidates nominated for executive committee of alumni will be notified by 1st week of March 2009. Candidates have the right to accept or reject the nomination. If there is more than one candidate who has accepted the same position, an online ballot will be held.

We however would like all candidates to consider accepting the nomination. The IMU Alumni is developed to serve as the platform of communication for the Alumni members. Thus, your support and co-operation is valuable to ensure the existence and growth of the alumni.

For more information about the aims and objectives, previous committee members as well as constitution of the Alumni, please visit alumni website at www.imu.org.my.

The 2009-2010 executive committee of IMU alumni will be announced latest on 15th April 2009.

narrative

2009-02-05T21:35:00.003+08:00

This is weird. Asking us to conjure a narrative after all the allocations are long done and dusted.But then again, 2.5 years in bukit jalil has all but made me realize that almost everything IMU does is pointless. I called Academic Affairs on Tuesday to inquire about the offer letter which never arrived. No phone call, no email from the department which misplaced my LAN cert not once, not twice, not thrice but four times and had the cheek to reprimand me sternly on the phone during lecture about responsibility. Surprise, surprise. The letter was ready, collecting dust I suspect, on the tray. Given that my afternoons are pretty much unoccupied, I sped down the highway to retrieve the letter from ACADEMIC AFFAIRS. Waited 30 mins for the invoice because the imbeciles at AAD did not relay the message to the cashier's office. No matter, i thought. After all, other batchmates had to endure worse antics from these people.

This morning, i woke up and found a letter in my mailbox from IMU. A brand new letter and invoice with different due dates from STUDENT AFFAIRS DEPARTMENT! I didn't know whether to erupt in rage or to laugh. Time to dry those wet spots behind the ears, guys. Sober up and clean up your act. IT ISN'T FUNNY. Its a pity I've submitted my
Student Satisfactory Survey Form because I have a few chosen words to express.

well, the narrative is finally done. No bombastic dreams of being a politician like Matthew or indulging in Public Health like Ben. Nowhere near the inspiring orthopedic dream of Lester. Frankly, i think my narrative is a bit dull but luckily for me, it doesn't really matter ;)

Title : Your future plans and general career aspirations after graduation from PMS/IMU Clinical School (typewritten, not exceeding 250 words and in Font 12)

Upon graduating, I will undertake the 2 year medical foundation training and will subsequently be able to register with the General Medical Council (GMC). I view these two years vital as I will be exposed to increasing levels of complexity and a setting vastly different from where I hail. It is my humble belief that through the systematic curriculum of the UK, I will build on my acquired knowledge and thrive as the program progresses.

By the end of the 2nd year of training, I will hope to have acquired competencies to start with my specialist training. At this moment in time, surgery appeals to me and if given the opportunity to dwell in that area of specialization, that is a career path I will like to see myself in.

Not wanting to get too ahead of myself, I realize the importance of keeping an open mind, given, that the medical world is ever evolving. I hope that clinical years will paint me a clearer picture of which route best to pursue. Lastly, while I appreciate the fact that one has a brilliant prospect in the UK, it is my wish to return to Malaysia in the long run as my family still resides there.

shambolic liverpool

2009-02-04T13:22:00.002+08:00

Sometime around May last year, the name Robbie Keane popped up on Rafa Benitez's shopping list, somewhere near the top. Hardly surprising. The name Robbie Keane signified a player the top four defenders hated coming up against. So, naturally it was only a matter of time before one of the top teams came knocking on the door. Liverpool came with vigorous bids, attempting to lure the spurs man away from white hart lane. Keane, a boyhood liverpool fan needed no further coaxing in what he termed was his 'dream move'. The future looked rosy and Benitez lauded him as the final piece in his attacking jigsaw.

Robbie Keane's 6 month sojourn at Liverpool ended yesterday after leaving back to Spurs. He endured a winter of discontent, starting only 23 times and only playing FIVE full matches. Benitez's treatment of Keane is absolutely disgraceful, as he has done lately with Crouch and Pennant. The overweight Spaniard seemed to have lost his marbles lately. With Torres injured, he opted for inexperienced N'Gog over Robbie Keane, a blatant snub to a player which plays with his heart on his sleeve. Benitez argues that Keane crumbled under the pressure to play for Liverpool and has scored a meager 5 goals. Critics will tell you that when Robbie Keane was on a run of 2 goals in 2 matches and looked set for a rich vein of scoring form, Benitez delibrately benched him for the next game. How do you justify that?

The truth is that there was another name at the summit of Benitez's shopping list. that name was a player who the Spaniard believed, if wouldn't complete the team,would at least complete the midfield. That man was Gareth Barry. After paying over the odds for Keane, Benitez was left with insufficient funds for the man who is now the driving force behind Aston Villa's amazing season. It is obvious that Rick Parry's failure to sign Barry was the last straw for Benitez and he is venting his anger on the chief executive by indignantly not playing Keane.

Like i said, Liverpool has been nothing short of disgusting this season. You have to feel sorry for the man. A pawn in the game between the upper management, trapped between the pitch and the boardroom, and forgotten as Liverpool march on after beating Chelsea without him. A great player who deserves recognition as a proven goal scorer in the premiership for almost a decade but snubbed by an idiot of a manager with an inflated ego. I don't care if they are in 'the best position to challenge for the title in years'. You know what will satisfy every true football fan other than Man Utd beating Liverpool to the title? For Robbie Keane to score at the last day of the season at Liverpool to deny them the title. Karma is a bi*ch.

when the world cried

2009-02-02T12:16:00.004+08:00

It was hard not to feel sorry him, even if you're a Nadal fan. When the normally calm Roger Federer is reduced to tears, even the hard-hearted ones will find it hard not to be overwhelmed. A vast majority of the Rod Laver arena were reaching for their tissues when the 13 time Grand Slam champion sobbed while congratulating Nadal and tears flowed freely when the newly crowned champion put his arm around his shoulders in friendly consolation.

It was a final which promised a place in history for the winner. Nadal's first Australian Open or Federer equaling Sampras's record of 14 career grand slams. As much as i wanted Federer to be the one lifting the trophy, i have to hand to it to Nadal. The grueling 5 sets against Verdasco(in my opinion, the match of the tournament) had almost no effect on him. He is truly an amazing athlete. Speaking with genuine humility, i have newfound respect for the guy.
As for Federer, i have no doubt he will eclipse Sampras's record this year. He is a great champion and he will come good.

raw nerved

2009-01-31T20:25:00.002+08:00

Internet access has been intermittent ever since Chinese New Year started.
Its driving me up the wall. I mean its perfectly fine to go without the web when you are up to your nose with work but its simply brutal after exams!

The single computer back in malacca was hogged by hyperactive 10 year old cousins, playing king of fighters or something like that. They coaxed me into playing but the sneaky tyrants have obviously been spending WAY too much time on the computer because my hero lasted a good 48 seconds against them. To which they giggled to no avail.

I was somewhat impressed that they were aware of the existence of Messenger. so i peeked when the orange bar flashed.

XXX: smiley emoticon
cousin: HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI
XXX: stabbing smiley x 10
cousin: angry smiley x 13
XXX: more emoticons x infinity
cousin: more emoticons x infinity
XXX: chinese letters chinese letters
cousin: more emoticons x infinity

*slaps forehead*

Now, just as i was about to sit down and log into facebook, my cousins decided to go to the funfair. at 10pm. I was like: WHERE THE HECK DO YOU GUYS GET YOUR ENERGY FROM??!
so the 'lai la lai la. yi nian yi chi' cries began and before i knew it my intervertebral discs were working overtime absorbing the constant shock waves encroaching down my spine from constant bumper car bangs.

As the days dragged on, i felt like i had lost an extremity. Around 3pm, i flipped. It was imperative to my existence that i got my hands onto the computer. Bullying my way to the sacred keyboard, i devoured with great fervor, finally, after days of online deprivation.

Somehow this episode made me realise how dependent i am on technology. I used to be the kid eagerly awaiting the 6am newspaper man just to grab the latest sport headlines. Now, i'm the person staring at the idiotic screen in that sedentary posture surfing espnstar.com or soccernet.com for the latest news. But how much of this is my fault? newspapers have vicariously been ignored due to the rapid evolution of the internet. Papers nowadays are full of shit anyway. Filled with propaganda, unbelievably dumb politicians and horrible english. I learn far more from wikipedia and e medicine than kumar and clark, davidsons or papa patho. Perhaps my generation is becoming more tech savvy. perhaps we are getting lazier. Who knows?

loving the australian open so far

2009-01-23T01:35:00.006+08:00

The great thing about the australian open is that hardly anything goes by the script. remember the cinderella story of safin in 2005? baghdatis in 2006? gonzalez in 2007? and tsonga in 2008? The great question is who will it be this year? pundits have been raving about Andy Murray and how he has furtively beaten Federer twice this year. The big three no more, they say. Andy Murray has effectively made it the Big Four. And yet, something about the contentious air about the competition suggests further unpredictability.

Just yesterday i watched a peach of a match between Venus Williams and Carla Suarez Navarro. The 19 year old Spaniard matched Venus stroke for stroke and outclassed her better known opponent. She has the most amazing backhand, very much like the one we used to see from Justine Henin Hardenne.
And right now, i'm watching Ana Ivanovic struggling to get a grip on her 3rd set. Looks like an early exit is on the cards for her as well. No sharapova, no ivanovic, no venus? An easy path for jelena? just as long as the colossal Serena Williams doesn't get to far. i swear she is looking more and more masculine each year. what's that i heard about her beating Andy Roddick 6-2? FREAKY! isn't that a violation of a rule of some sort?!

i can't wait for the big game.

two former world number ones. two great friends with immense respect for each other.
gotta love Roger's calmness and Safin's classic on court rants.
hope it will be another epic 5 setter.

2009-01-20T14:30:00.002+08:00

"i will never leave you nor forsake you."

thank you for pulling me through the worst exam of my life.

Goodbye M206

2009-01-10T12:33:00.006+08:00

whatever EMO prose or sensitive thoughts i would have liked to construe has pretty much been exhausted in the convo mag. i've decided against posting more sappy farewell materials just in case the likes of sanjeet start getting wrong ideas and think i'm depressed hahaha.

speaking of convo mag,

ITS FINALLY HERE! OUR BABY!
i'm so proud of it. Michelle and Alex, its beautiful! and that in itself is such a conceived understatement.
here's my page. thats me! at the bottom right hand corner, with the red devil on my shoulder to represent Man Utd and my tendency to shirk and misbehave every now and then. i thought it would be most appropriate since i've been told that i had the demeanor of a 'kuai', cute little boy although i find that disparagingly untrue. haha
my page mates: that's chih ying on the bottom left hand corner, syed aka Ala on the top left hand corner and jin wei on the top right hand corner.

kudos to the intelligent and hardworking people whose articles graced the convo mag. These are the people who shape words into luminous sentences and the sentences into exquisitely crafted paragraphs. They weave the paragraphs together into a near perfect article, only to be ripped away untimely from their desktops.....

....to us. We are the idiots, most of us anyway lol, brutes, with tin ears, the aesthetic sensitivity of insects, deeply held erroneous beliefs about your topic and a maddening conviction that any article, no matter how eloquent or profound or already cut to the bone, can be improved by losing an additional 100 words. So this is my word of apology to the articles i may have treated callously, and whose articles we had to shorten or use a smaller font, sheah lin's especially, to fit into that one page. i am truly grateful and truly sorry. :)

dear M206, each page of the convo mag represents the 179 people who has toiled and suffered for the past 2.5 years. now that we have transcended above the final obstacle that is EOS 5, i wish all of you the very best of luck as we part ways. be it orientation or IMU cup or Malaysian studies project or CG or cheerleading or fund raising, it always came across as an honour to be part of you. my only regret is not getting to know most of you more.

p/s: to red, ho wai, michelle, and kwan: the late nights, McD breakfast and britney songs were really a blast.
p/s/s: bye RED AND JAN! thanks for all the memories! i'm sorry i wont be there to send you guys off but good luck in adelaide! i'll see u guys soon in june.

the year that was

2009-01-02T00:39:00.004+08:00

the last picture of 2008

Few universities have it as hard this time of the year. While people everywhere are fervently ushering the start of the new year, we have that nagging notion of a certain putrid paper on the 5th. Instead of griping and making a big fuss about how life in imu is awash with unfairness and pity, i've decided to reflect on the year that was. And what better way to remember moments than by quotes from the people who helped made the moments matter?

2008, the year in sports
"We just wet the bed. A nice big one too. One of the ones you can't put a towel over. It was terrible" - Kobe Bryant on how the Los Angeles Lakers blew a 20-point, second-half lead and lost to the Boston Celtics 97-91 in Game Four of the NBA finals. Arguably the turning point of the finals, Celtics romped to a lopsided Game 6 victory, en route to a first title in 22 years.

"I know how to lose and I know how to win and it is another day of my life from which I am going to learn a lot" - a teary Felipe Massa of Ferrari after being beaten to the title by one point on the day where Timo Glock became Ferrari's public enemy no. 1

"At last we've done it. I'm not sure we're yet conscious of what we've achieved. It's a huge feeling of happiness for all Spanish fans. They deserve it because we were all sick and tired of failing at the quarter-finals" - captain and goalkeeper Iker Casillas celebrates Spain's victory in the Euro 2008 final, leaving England now as the only perennial underachievers.

"With so many people saying it couldn't be done, all it takes is an imagination" - U.S. swimmer Michael Phelps after winning an unprecedented eight gold medals at a single Games.

"My wife wouldn't let me retire. She kicks me out of the door at 7am every morning. She's quite a formidable person." -- Manchester United Manager Sir Alex Ferguson after his team won the Premier League title. 7 months later, United officially became champions of England, champions of Europe and World Champions.

"I'm Lightning Bolt. I'm not Flash Gordon or anybody. My name is Lightning Bolt" - Usain Bolt, after setting a world record in the 200 meters final, one of three records he set in Beijing.

"Almost a perfect season, no?" - French Open and Wimbledon champion Rafael Nadal with the understatement of the year after being the first man in five years to defeat Roger Federer on the wimbledon lawn.

2008, the year in politics
"No way. No how. No McCain. Barack Obama is my candidate. And he must be president." -- Hillary Clinton backs Obama at the 2008 Denver convention.

"We have enemies for whom no attack is too cruel." -- Presumptive Republican nominee for US President John McCain once again shows why Obama was a shoo-in in the presidential race.

"I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal." -- US President George W Bush explaining why he quit the game.

"In what respect, Charlie?"-- Sarah Palin clearly stumped when asked about Bush's doctrine.

"Sudah kalah, kalah lah."-- Pak Lah after suffering BN's worst loss in the March elections.

"We have the numbers."-- Pakatan Rakyat de facto leader Anwar Ibrahim in a rally in Kelana Jaya

"I hope the nation and the people will forgive my mistakes." -- Former Pakistani president Pervez Musharraf in his resignation speech after 6 years at the helm.

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer." -- Barack Obama, in victory speech in US presidential election in home state of Chicago, November 4, 2008, inspiring millions worldwide and redefining the american dream.

And who can forget these?
"I am not a monster. I could have killed them all, and no one would have known." -- Josef Fritzl, 73, the Austrian man who fathered seven children with daughter he imprisoned in a cellar for 24 years.

"He would probably not last long, a black man in the position of president. They would kill him. Hillary is a very sharp lady. It might be calmer if she wins." -- Nobel Prize winner Doris Lessing on Barack Obama and the US presidency.

"No foreigners allowed." -- Burmese police officer stopping aid workers from entering cyclone-stricken communities in the Irrawaddy Delta.

"I took him aside and said: 'I posed in the nude.' He said: 'Oh, I like this one. Can I have a print?'" -- Carla Bruni-Sarkozy recalls the moment she told her husband French President Nicolas Sarkozy full details of her modeling career.

"That wrinkly white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which means I'm running for President. So thanks for the endorsement white-haired dude, and I want America to know I'm, like, totally ready to lead." -- Paris Hilton lampoons a John McCain US presidential campaign video using her image.

"I never had breakfast. I woke up around 11, I watched television and then I had some nuggets for lunch. I went back to my room, I slept for two hours, I went back for some more nuggets and came to the track."--
Bolt gives hope to a generation of teenagers.

"Looking back, i wonder what the heck was i thinking?"-- Britney Spears after winning album of the year for her Blackout disc at the spectacular MTV Europe Music Awards. We were wondering the same thing Britney.

"WHY SO SERIOUS?"-- Joker in The Dark Knight. heck i have so many quotes from the dark knight but this is undoubtedly everyone's favorite.

from the escapism of movies to the glittering olympics to the political shakeup both at home and in America to the Madoff scam and global economic meltdown, 2008 has been one tumult of a year. As clocks around the world strike 23: 59: 60, i laud the passing of its languidness. In terms
of history making and controversy, 2009, you have big shoes to fill.

voice of gossip girl!

2008-12-30T19:42:00.004+08:00

Kristen Bell's the voice of gossip girl?????
how could i have not known that she was the one spouting all those snarky gossipgirl quotes?
wow.
must be all those high tech voice modifier, pitch altering mojo.

i don't know about you, but i've just about lost interest in the latest season of gossip girl. honestly, i've grown tired of serena and blair fighting and then making up, dan and serena getting together and then breaking up and jenny, well, she used to be my favourite but now she's plain annoying. and nate... well, lets just not go there.
the whole storyline is getting very apathetic and the show's only saving grace is how good ed westwick is as chuck bass.
so josh and stephanie? do us all a favour and cast kristen bell. reveal the identity of gossip girl, create a new character or whatever. now that her character in heroes has been killed off, all the more reason to do so. at least then we all have something worthwhile to watch.

14 days

2008-12-21T15:16:00.002+08:00

to finish the last round of flummoxing notes. Joy to the world!

refuse to touch my notes for this 2 days, citing recuperation as the reason after that oh emm gee MSK-CNS-Health issues preperation for summative. Face the repercussions later lah.

4 days to christmas. family in chiang mai for whole of next week. tis the season to be grumpy,
falalala la la la la

and while i'm at it, my christmas list for 2008 which i make up for reasons unbeknownst even to me.

1. obviously i want to pass my EOS 5. staying back in IMU for another year?i love the place but no thank you..
2. a barcelona jersey with messi imprinted at the back, a milan jersey with kaka imprinted at the back. hopefully they have S sizes in chiang mai..
3. for everyone to leave their books just for christmas night to have one last big splendid christmas dinner together..
4. propanolol for calming effects the night before and on the day of EOS 5
5. to watch 'four christmases' because i have that feeling i always have when a great movie is around the corner.
6. for people to stop blowing themselves up and killing innocent people in the process. its not a healthy past time or trend you morons.

hehe...
i just finished my M207 orientation article. looking back and watching the video, i realised how much things have changed.
1. for starters, i look much older now
2. IMU now has a proper entrance and all the trace of the distorted steel bars and tart pile of sand are gone
3. back then, shafah(sharon and ru fah) was an item
4. matthew and I have since moved in with red
5. the fan blowing at vincent's cafe was a thing of the past because it doesnt exist anymore

merry christmas everyone! have a blessed and happy holiday! :)

Twilight

2008-12-15T23:42:00.004+08:00

ah. between the mini hiatus and chaste mugging, i managed to catch the film which has created somewhat of a hysteria in the female community. you don't have to read stephanie meyer's bestseller to know that the twilight craze has hit Malaysian shores. Just listen to the shrieks of the girls next to you in the cinema when robert pattinson makes his grand entrance.

when i walked past a magazine stand in subang parade yesterday, i saw a young girl pulling her friend, ecstatically jabbing at the cover of a magazine. i think it was between the part when i realised it was robert pattinson and kristen stewart's photo plastered on the cover and when she started fanning herself vehemently that i had to run away to prevent myself from laughing out loud. Such is the pancultural behemoth that twilight has become. the next Harry Potter series perhaps?

the movie? i guess the jury is out on this one. i know of twilight fans who claim that the movie fell short of their expectations. the movie had a tepid dull edge admittedly, but in their defense, it was not the Harry Potter mega blockbuster budget you would have expected. For a 40 million budget movie, i say the movie was pretty good actually. Forget the impossibly gorgeous face of bella swan or the pale love-smitten vampire stud, Edward Cullen. Forget the atrocity that love at first sight exist anymore. I've said this before, the reason i think twilight is great is because of the portrayal of unrivaled intensity. Defiant, old fashioned love. Fervid romance, captured on film, felt by millions without the need of a single union of lips. The deep longing stares, the flick of the apple with his foot as it rolls neatly into his palm, the protective blind rage when she gets bitten. that's intensity for you, and that's what twilight is about.

So Twilight isn't a masterpiece. Stephanie Meyer is no Nora Roberts. Twilight, branded as another chick flick. No matter. It rekindles the warmth of Hollywood's greatest romances, where sex is not the penultimate of a romance and a kiss was never just a kiss. And if you think twilight was good, wait till you read new moon. i've just read it, and let's just say twilight pales in comparison.

a big thank you

2008-12-04T01:17:00.003+08:00

to Wei Lin, Ailing, Sheah Lin and Lynn Xuan for contributing articles for the convo mag. really appreciate it you guys. thanks for keeping to your word and submitting quickly.

convo mag update:
at the moment, there are still no write outs on the following events:

m207 orientation
Diwali night
Prom
Life in vista
Bachelor/Bachelorette
Malaysian Studies project

unfortunately if there is still no response for the above articles by next wednesday, we would have to do without them, which is such a waste IMO. but we have to send to the printers soon...

so last call for 4-5 paragraphs of the above topics. anyone? spread the word.

mentally unfortunate

2008-12-01T00:05:00.005+08:00

i read yesterday that at least 5 doctors suffer from mental woes each month.
i wondered if there are any statistics done to see how many med students suffer from mental woes each month.
come to think of it,i'm starting to feel a little fruitcake-ish myself

i've been bruised and battered all over by november. slipping in and out of coherency. i walk on the road to uni from vista and my subconscious takes over. my brain starts listing whatever i was studying last night and frustration takes over when the hippocampus realises that it did not save last night's input. the surroundings strangely move out of focus and i swear i had a bout of prosopagnosia. i had xin ying wave at me and it took me a few seconds before i actually recognized her. hahaha.

mornings are non existent here. the brain refuses to goes to slumber mode and tortures me with guilt. 3 am and i finally give in to exhaustion. i wake up just in time for lunch and library or Csu practise. sometimes, i think its plain stupidity to slog for 10 systems and still end up with a mediocre grade. like some people will say, study so hard but still cannot get A. must be really dumb la you. then there's the all consoling line that goes, being a doctor is not about getting straight As. haiyo like whatever lah.

what makes me wonder sometimes is how little i actually slogged during school days or college days. and yet As were never the problem. i remember chatting at the back of physics lab not understanding what the teacher was saying and didn't bother because i knew i could read it up later. what about claims of finishing the syllabus before the exams as a form of competitive spirit? now, even two successful rounds fail to give me that easing feeling. its a measure of how far i've progressed down the education line, i guess. nowadays, i find small relief in knowing i've covered X number of notes for the day.

then there's twilight. and how due to mock OSCE, i still haven't watched. *rips hair apart* i wanted to watch with peishern and yilin they all. while they scream for edward cullen, ill go nuts for bella swan. i heard the cast are all beautiful. jealousy. green eye. bah. i also heard about team edward vs team jake. such a whirlpool of unfairness surrounding me. my fun put on hold for bones, brains, nerves and those neuron thingys. wenky came back today and i couldnt go out yam cha because........

i had to read lumbosacral plexus.

talk about not getting mental woes.

thats it. i'm gonna eat my fruitcake and be a normal fruitcake and read my notes.

crissida tagged me

2008-11-17T00:52:00.005+08:00

6 things i'm passionate about

1. Football
when i was 11, i remember my friend effendi asking me which team i would be supporting in the 98 world cup. totally oblivious to the world of football at that time, i simply muttered england. till this day i never knew why i chose the one country with the most underachieving football stars, the worst coaches and scarcely filled trophy cabinet but i have been an england supporter ever since. i decided that it was fate. i decided to get acquainted with the sport one sunday morning. glanced at the english premier league table at the backpage of the star and vowed to support the 2nd placed team in the league. the 2nd placed team was Manchester United. I call it fate.

2. Playing the piano
okay, so i don't exactly have the talent or the skills of Maxim but then again its not like people get to hear how bad i am when i play at home. haha. It helps after getting frustrated over studies, it really does. i wish i had one in vista.

3. Books
if you know me well enough, you'll know that i'm one of the most anti-social people alive. if you don't talk to me, chances are, i won't talk to you either. books, aren't they great? they entertain you when you don't feel like talking. from thrillers to chic flick to dramas, hand me a good read and ill drown myself in it.

4. Writing
i told cheng the other day that i could maintain the regularities of my blog entries due to the fact that i use my blog as a medium to vent my thoughts. sometimes, its much easier to pen thoughts to paper.

5. Feel good movies
i never understood why most guys would disregard a movie just because it's a chic flick. hands up those who actually went to watch 27 dresses on their own will(aka not dragged by the pushy girlfriend). but then again, of course, they would rather die than admit they went to a soppy romantic comedy, regardless of how awesome it was. "hey man, what movie did you catch last night?" "i saw Bond go ballistic" "cool dude.. was the movie good?" " nah, it sucked. but its Bond with the martini and babes!".

6 books i read recently
(no.. i'm not going to be lame and list down all the medical texts. i am a strong believer in reading non medical books to keep my sanity intact)

1. Prisoner of Birth - Jefferey Archer
Awesome book. its prison break, economics, law and enterprise all in one.

2. The Venus Conspiracy - Michael Cordy
thanks to teong rhen, i had this amazing page turner to read during my last weekend. it about the discovery of a love drug and how an organization is trying to exploit it. note to self, check out more of michael cordy's work.

3. Man and Boy- Tony Parsons
the first book i read from the spree at the MPH sale. a funny and touching tale of a single father learning the ropes of parenthood. can't wait to read its sequel, man and wife.

4. Case for Christ- Lee Strobel
our batch CG was doing a discussion on it, so lynn xuan lent me the actual book. i'm still halfway but this book gives a very good argument on the sole existence of Christ.

5. Five people you meet in heaven- Mitch Albom
read this off the shelves at popular, sunway pyramid. Interesting storyline with great quotes. reading tuesdays with morrie next. i really should buy them but its 30 plus for such a thin book.

6. A walk to remember- Nicholas Sparks
borrowed this from IMU library. the fiction department is actually pretty good. i borrowed it to help me sleep but it kept me up for the greater part of the night. truly beautiful story. seriously can cry when you read the ending :)

*oh and twilight of course. thanks to yilin and peishern's persuasive skills.

6 songs/albums :P I can listen to over and over again

1. Millennium- BSB
you knew this was coming didn't you? haha. the album that broke the british charts and sold millions of copies worldwide.

2. Black and blue- BSB
Surprisingly didn't generate much sales as i would have expected. i personally thought some of the best BSB songs came from this album.

3. Lifehouse- lifehouse
this album is great. it gets better and better each time i hear it. you and me, blind, hanging by a moment, broken, come back down.. see??

4. Heavier Things- John Mayer
sophisticated with elegant tunes. i even got Seng Chye to lend me his book so i could play a few songs on the piano.

5. The Best Damn thing- Avril Lavigne
well, the title of the album was soundly appropriate. avril sure knows how to churn great stuff. and i'm seriously hooked onto 'the best damn thing' song. the bandits using it as one of their cheerleading songs with those classy steps didn't help.

6. Don't Look Away- Kate Voegele
I've saved the best for last. Everything about Kate Voegele just screams hotness. She has an amazing voice and don't get me started on her songs. It's unacceptable that people who don't watch one tree hill has never heard of her. PLEASE listen to her. Check out her latest song, Lift me up. it was written for the US Olympic athletes.

6 things I have learnt this past year

1. the left testis cannot say hello to the right testes

2. you cannot get gonorrhea by sitting on the toilet but you can get gonorrhea if you sit on the toilet with someone else

3.snapping turtle is the most delicious thing in the world

4. lindsay lohan is les. pity lah.. she used to be so hot.

5. i've learnt that i can sell more food fair coupons than kwan and aaron.

6. if you continue to play safe, you will NEVER reach your limits

6 valuable things i own

1. my laptop
i never knew how i survived without it for the past 20 years

2. my phone
can anyone survive without it nowadays?

3. my car
thank god i have a car! gone are the days where i had to wait under the hot sun in front of the SS14 overhead bridge for a bus to get home

4. my one tree hill collection

5. my USMLE step 1 book ;D

6. hair products
you know, sometimes i envy girls. they never have to use any gel, wax or clay and still look good. the day hair products cease to exist is the day people like my housemates will die. tsk tsk. such self adoration to the point of narcissism :D

6 bloggers i tag
1. Ming Hui
2. Chong Bing3. Sheah Lin
4. Swee Leen
5. Esther
6. Mabel

damsel in shining armour, knight in distress

2008-11-13T00:45:00.004+08:00

sometimes all it takes for a guy to fall head over heels is that witty optimism.
especially when your life is like running in the rain with a jacket on your head.

many of us are drew baylors in reality.
waiting for the claire colbums to show up with her red cap and sunshiny attitude.
like i say, i've forgotten how nice this movie is.

yes we can

2008-11-07T01:18:00.004+08:00

"It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled -- Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It's the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day."

-excerpt of President-elect Barack Obama's victory speech

perhaps i am still skeptical. perhaps my emotions are reserved. perhaps i do not laud and jump in joy that the messiah has accessed the white house. but by no means am i denying the fact that this is one of the greatest points in political history.

The star 5th November, a small column at the superior aspect of the front page.

the Malaysian PM, Datuk Seri Abdullah Badawi claims that it is possible for anyone from a minority group to be a nation's leader, even in Malaysia.

Are we looking at a possible future revamp of the country's political system? Will there come a day when we are able to elect a prime minister by vote and not submitting to the autonomy recommendation of previous PMs and mandatory election by the king? Do not be surprise that this thought which is greeted by cynicism and such sensitivity in present times to be something of creed possibility in the future.

The world is rejoicing at the victory of Barack Hussein Obama. I am rejoicing too, even though i am not an American because Obama's groundbreaking win proves that there is no such thing as a superior race. America knows this and has acted on it. It is time for us to realize and do the same.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

Martin Luther King Jr gave this famous speech in 1963. 45 years on, the dream, his vision, finally spot on.

america votes!

2008-11-05T00:19:00.002+08:00

Due to the lack of a camera, i am regretfully unable to post up my wonderful birthday presents. i assure you they will be up as soon as i get my hands on that 7.1 mega pixels IXUS back home.

8.5 weeks.
-the amount of time we have left to prepare for EOS 5
-the amount of time we have left in IMU BJ
-the amount of time matthew,red and I have left as housemates
-the amount of time before i see some people for the very last time
-the amount of time before M206 is no longer an active batch in imu

eight weeks. fifty six days. unbelievable.

in a different sense, america decides TOMMOROW!
sigh, its not american idol u nincampoop, because i know very well that's what you were thinking!
some 130 million people will vote in what would undoubtedly be a turning point in american political history. a first black president or a first lady vice.

may it be the 'need for change' that barack obama has spiritedly been campaining for or the 'country first' stance that john mccain has steadfastly deployed, one thing is for sure, the result of this election, i believe, will be of epic proportions not only to the united states of america alone, but will involve majority of the leading nations, asia included.

while i am in no position to give my two cents worth on who would make a better president, i think i can safely concur that it would really be quite the disaster if sarah palin does occupy the vice presidency. even after taking away the obvious advantage joe biden has in terms of years of vast foreign policy and economic experiece, sarah palin has virtually done nothing to stamp her i-can-be-a-good-VP clause. on the contrary, she has in fact done all but make herself a perennial laughing stock. from her daughter's abortion scandal, to the difference in her implementations as mayor to john mccain's campaign issues, to the criticism of the scientific community for being a financial burden to the country, to being gullible enough to believe president sarkozy would actually make a direct telephone call to extend his support.

whatever the outcome, the world would stop in its track, be it a fraction of a second at least to feign interest. its a pity most people here don't give half a squat on the happenings. hopefully i can access the student lounge's astro tomorrow for regular updates.

twenty ONE!

2008-10-31T02:56:00.004+08:00

its my 21st birthday today! :):)

its too late to say much now.
just a few things to blog about:

1. my housemates, though i appreciate the valiant effort, can't act for nuts.
2. thank you pei for the ******s, though i have don't think ill use it in the near future hahahaha.
3. thank you ben for the pink ikea stool
4. thank you (in no particular order) matthew, red, ben, jan, rufah, ghiwaie, aaron, william, ahloo, amanda, edwina, suisse, kwan, sarah, huiling, howai, jianmin, chihying, kim and jimmy for keeping me company tonight. (i hope i didnt forget anyone. im so sorry if i did)
5. thank you (in no particular order) cheng, rainie, xin, chuiyen, amanda, fanghan, weilin, hueyjen, manlo, timothy and ailing for the SMSes/calls.

thanks again guys. ill leave u with a picture of my cake, for now..

worried

2008-10-27T14:11:00.005+08:00

-there is a venomous pile of endocrine notes on my study table that i have yet to touch. considering the snail pace in which i attack my notes, plus the 'rabid eagerness' i display in revising them, i honestly fear for my EOS. granted,for the last EOS, i went through more than once the entire CVS, respi, hemato, and GI before sitting for the paper. granted, whilst i am hardly dean list material, i passed with a respectable grade. so why worry right? dead wrong. well, this time is different. 10 systems with just over 9 weeks to go. hardly dismissing the fact that CNS is not over, which means that i have to study the day's notes as well squeeze in some time for revision. doesn't take einstein to spell you the outcome of the equation: bye bye social life.

-visited MPH warehouse sale in PJ last thursday and friday. am now in possession of a few books i had my eye on but had initially barfed at the usual price. the prices are ridiculously cheap. thanks ben for alerting us about it! drove there with matthew and sarah on friday. they were so happy. matthew bought a french dictionary for 20 bucks and was gleefully stroking it like how a little kid would show off his latest toy.

sigh... this'll furthur fuel the lazy bug in me.

-i'm starting to feel a bit worried for the convo mag. the deadline for printing is approaching and we still have yet to figure out a name/theme for it. announcements have been made in lecture hall about articles for convo mag but no one has stepped up and offered to write anything, apart from ailing who very kindly offered. the last i heard, i have to cover our orientation, the orientation we organized and an experience as an IMCC. i haven't put pen to paper any of these articles yet. and my swansong article for the batch, the one i am really putting a lot of effort into is only half way done. and i haven't found the suitable title. my blood pressure is really going through the roof on this one. i really wish some people outside the convo mag commitee will respond. God knows how people like michelle and alex must be feeling when the time comes to design the templates.

if you're reading this post and you feel that you can contribute an article on the following:
a) your experience going through orientation in sem 1
b) your experience as an IMCC if you were one
c) your experience organizing the M207 orientation if you were in the committee
d) your experience organizing any imu event for that matter (diwali night, friday night etc etc)

your help is GREATLY appreciated! =p

or if (e) you have something to say about your life in IMU or (f) if you feel the half page length profile page doesn't quite encompass everything you would want to leave your friends with or (g) you are hit by stark creativity and would like to submit a poem/prose/short story/drawing/emo message please DO SO!

well, time to work that brain cells of mine. tata.

so much for my happy endings

2008-10-25T00:21:00.003+08:00

"....lastly, the ___ of the brain stem...... and i will not be giving you all any more lectures."
Dr Jo Parriera

"and so this will be my last lecture for M two zero six. you all have been an enthusiastic batch and i hope you will carry on that enthusiasm with you to clinical school. you may not remember IMU but remember pathology"
Dr Thani

it is with pensive sadness that i report the ending of october.

befriending an object

2008-10-22T20:56:00.004+08:00

today we did a really fun activity with Eu Pui in CG.

1. pick an object(any object). spend 5 mins doing nothing but staring at the object.
2. spend 20 mins with your object and let it speak/connect with you. write down what the object is trying to tell you.

i don't really know why but from the moment i saw the rubix cube, i knew i had to take it. perhaps it was the colourful pictures that swayed me but somehow i didn't really pay attention to the other objects. kind of like when you have a crush on a girl, that girl stands out and other girls just pale in comparison.
so i took my new 'friend' to my corner and stared at it for 5 mins. then i started turning it around, letting it 'speak' to me. I wasn't entirely sure if my desires had anything to do with the thoughts that came to my mind. I suspected that the initial thoughts were so but like the others, i wrote down most of the things that came to mind.

first few thoughts were of the pictures. there was a picture of an eiffel tower, a tsunami, a volcano, a Japanese flag, a girl in a kimono and some Japanese writing. i was seriously thinking that the cube was trying to tell me that God is going to send me to help victims of a tsunami and volcano attack in Japan and in the process i would get together with a girl in a kimono and we would spend our dream honeymoon in paris. (obviously i didn't share this in CG. people would think i was mad)
after about few minutes, my mind started to wander and i was thinking 'this isn't making any sense.' 'why isnt the object speaking to me'
I decided to clear my mind and start from scratch. Once i quieted myself, rather than seeing the pictures that distracted me, i saw the rubix cube for what it was for the first time. And i believe the object spoke to me about these things:

1. like the rubix cube, our lives are scrambled. like us, the rubix cube cannot unscramble itself. It needs us(hands) to unravel it. We too need the Lord's divine hands to set things right in our lives. We need to allow him to put the tiles of our lives into where it should be so that we can see the big picture.
2. Like the rubix cube, we have different sides to our lives. On different days, we put on different silhouettes but God sees our core and accepts us for who we are.
3. my rubix cube was glued, so i couldnt move the tiles. If our foundations are strong, forces that try to make a mess out of us will fail.

we live in busy times. our daily timetable is packed with activities. How often do we slow down, observe and listen to what God is trying to tell us? Do you retreat daily from the rat race and hear or do you allow God's word to slip by?

(From Eu Pui)In quietness, we have to face ourselves. We can no longer hide behind laughter, people, fun and activities. In solitude, we extend our invitation to God only.

Take a random object today and see listen to what it has to say to you.

rapid random ramblings

2008-10-20T00:12:00.004+08:00

DISGUSTED!
absolutely disgusted at liverpool's extremely good fortune. that's like the 3rd match in the row where they look set to lose and then manage to sneak one in right at the death! usually such good fortune is reserved for championship winning teams. NO! i refuse to acknowledge the signs that this is going to be their year. their luck is bound to run out sooner or later and every football fan knows that at the finishing line, there will only be two teams worth looking at; i.e. Chelsea and ManU(who else??)
well.. gonna go up to merv tomoro and once again berate to him how lucky his liverpool is.

last week and the week before:

me: omg! i have nothing to say already. HOW can you all be so FREAKIN lucky??? merv: this is our year! *laughs, fist raised*
(or something along that line... lol)

okay! on to more rapid random ramblings.
so... yilin lent pei a book called 'twilight' and together with adrian, they were squealing about how nice it was.
the movie is coming out this november and teasers/trailers are all over youtube. well.. so they wanted me to watch too cause they think i will like it hehe.
but they wouldn't allow me to watch the trailers until i finish the book. (mafan la these ppl)
so i spent my weekend finishing the book.
AND NOW IM HOOKED AND ~~SQUEALING~~ CANT WAIT FOR THE MOVIE TOO!

the words are so intense! keep in mind that this is a teen drama book, so its devoid of all the words that are usually deemed necessary to paint a vivid picture of two people in love. but stephanie meyer is a genius!! brilliant i tell you.

do have a look at the cast of twilight.lol... they kinda look like the characters i pictured while reading the book and in peishern's own words. "they are all gorgeous!!!"

when simple words can make a book beautiful

2008-10-17T01:16:00.003+08:00

''I ended up in my only skirt-- long, khaki-coloured, still casual. I put on the dark blue blouse he'd once complimented. A quick glance in the mirror told me my hair was entirely impossible, so I pulled it back into a ponytail.

"okay." I bounced down the stairs. "im decent"

He was waiting at the foot of the stairs, closer than I'd thought, and I bounded right into him. He steadied me, holding me a careful distance away for a few seconds before suddenly pulling me closer.

"wrong again," he murmured in my ear. "you are utterly indecent-- no one should look so tempting, it's not fair."

"tempting how?" I asked. "i can change..."

He sighed, shaking his head. " You are so absurd." He pressed his cool lips delicately to my forehead, and the room spun. The smell of his breath made it impossible to think.

"Shall I explain how you are tempting me?" he said. It was clearly a rhetorical question. His fingers traced slowly down my spine, his breath coming more quickly against my skin. My hands were limp on his chest, and i felt lightheaded again. He tilted his head slowly and touched his cool lips to mine for the second time, very carefully, parting them slightly.

And then i collapsed. "

who knew the love story between a vampire and a normal girl could be so beautiful?

God's favourite system

2008-10-10T23:44:00.009+08:00

Have you ever wondered why brilliant, semi-brilliant or cool thoughts just show up at the most inopportune times?
Like when you're having this conversation with a friend and had this word right at the tip of your tongue but just couldn't say it out, only to nearly blurt it out loud after the sudden remembrance in lecture.
Or having this brilliant burst of inspiration for a story or paper......in the middle of the night?
Or finally realizing the answer to that intricate math problem you've been squeezing your brains to solve for the past few days......... while taking a chemistry paper. a TIMED chemistry paper.
Or thinking of this grand plan for a friend's birthday................ which has just passed.
Or you figured out the solution for the country's problems in the shower, causing you to be late for the 8 am lecture in the morning.
OR you finally have this great idea for a blog post.......... after staring at the blogger page hours ago trying to type something and gave up to catch some winks.

don't look at me *shrugs*. i have these problems too. creativity always hits me when i least expect it. which actually explains why my blog entries are always at 12++ am. so, you know what time to check for a new entry should you get bored and have surfed all your usual sites and can't sleep because of that extra dose of caffeine in your bloodstream

so this week i realized something about MSK.

There i was, sitting in the MMS with the 5 or 6 of us that actually turned up waiting for the doctor to arrive, threatening to go ballistic if he forgot about us again. desperately flipping through the anatomy notes before the class in order to have any sense of comprehension later. unimaginable loathing for anatomy.

Dr Jo did arrive after all, thank goodness and proceeded with the anatomy of the vertebral column. as he was going through the facets of the vertebra, i was hit by a sudden stark epiphany. awestruck that the small tiny processes all the way from the cervical to the lumbar region were basically responsible for the very essence of our movements. fascinated by the surreal understanding of how gradual changes in the spine allowed for different types of movements. Impressed by the details of God's creation.

every God inspired muscle, tendons, bones, joints and nerve.

I guess i had simply overlooked yet another example of His greatness. what a privilege to learn the one work of God which we are actually able to visualize.

perhaps i was too quick to pass a verdict on MSK. not suggesting that other systems are any less inspiring for that matter but i think the time has come to uncheck MSK under systems which i dislike.

p.s: calling out to ALL M206 ppl, do come for our next CG! its next wednesday, 15 of October RIGHT AFTER LECTURE! jeremy's gonna lead us in a real interesting discussion on our maker.
Do come as we only have 4 more CGs :( come with any thoughts/questions/ideas , contribute and help to be a part of our interesting discussion. come ya?